SUMMER 2010.

• STREETDANCING.
• GLEE. GLEE. GLEE. GLEEEEEEE!! :D I swear, it's my life. @-)
• SDTA.
• TRUMPETS.
• Nail Polish. Lots and lots of it. I always changed my nail color according to my mood.
• Stalking cute boys. This pretty much took half of my summer away. WAHAHAHAH.
• Commuting. Alot.
• Movie Marathons every night. B-) Titanic and Big Fish! :D
• Insomnia; sleeping all day, staying up all night. @-)
• Pulling all nighters, ALL THE TIME. Not sleeping for more than 24 hours, twice a week or more. :/
• Being a hardcore bum. \m/
• TV show marathons: GLEE, 90210, Gossip Girl, Skins, The OC and One Tree Hill.
• Songs that make me want to dance.
• The intense hot heat.
• Locking myself up in the room, and start singing to Glee/Broadway songs. HAHAHA.
• Meeting new friends. :)
• New sites i've fallen inlove with: DrawMyThing, Roboto and WeHeartIt!
• Robot Unicorn Attack was amusing. @-) ALWAYS I WANNA BE WITH YOU AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU~
• Drama. Lots of it, alright.
• Being a hermit.
• Inspiration: ColorMeKatie, Devin Castro, OMGRawr, Thunderpopcola. Incredible people.
• Realizing my dreams. :)

Highlights of Summer 2010:

• Diving in Anilao, Batangas with Nichie and Loise.
• Being a kid all over again for a day in Enchanted Kingdom with Zhiela and Loise.
• Meeting my long lost sister, Charm.
• Stalker Week. HAHAHA. 2 consecutive weeks I followed my crushes around... HAHAHA. It was worth it though, I got to meet all of them. :> I EVEN HAVE PICTURES WHAT. =)))))))
• Watching Shrek the Third in 3D at Prome. It's cool. It's like...IMAX. B-)
• Lazer Tag with the SDTA kids!
• Going to Arrested and sleeping over at Stephen's. Damn those water guns. =))
• Goodbye Zarah week. :( The surprise despedida at Miggy's, The Picnic in UP and Zarah's New York Party in Antipolo.
• Meeting Miles in Shang! :D
• Trumpets Tribute: THE NIGHT I MET THE BOY OF MY DREAMS. HAHAHA.
• My Streetdance Showcase!
• The 3A Outing in Laguna! \:D/
• Giving myself a Slushie Facial, Glee style out of the intense heat. =)))

GOODBYE SUMMER 2010!!!!!

without love.

today was fun, i guess.

my sleeping schedule got fixed and i'm just hoping i'll be able to keep it up.

went out today with vick, pia, steff and vitt in greenbelt.

so much fun. :D

nightmare on elm street was funnehh, okay. =)))

like it was scary but perverted at the same time. HAHAHAH.

and i made an awesome discovery today.

mcdonald's ketchup has nos. 1-6. WTF STEFF. =)))))

1 should be the most sour while 6 is the sweetest.

WTF I SWEAR WE WERE SO ALIW. =))

so there are like, 6 types of ketchup. WTF. =))))) HAHAHAHAH.

tomorrow, tristan won't be in podium. :( GUHHH. i hope MTE won't be there, so i won't be distracted, lol. Eh, i'd rather leave things the way they were last time.

don't want to leave trumpets with a baaaad memory. :(

weeeell, i'm just going to watch their play next tuesday then.

i hope it will be a good day. :D

sucks that streetdance will be over soon. like next week. :(

aaaand. i really want to go to arrested on friday. :[ but i have no ride home. GODDAMETTTT. i miss open parties. :/ i swear, i've been craving for a party lately. and i want to drinkkk. AKSDJAKLFJSDFKDJGDFKGJHFD !!

Trees are nice. :">

MY FB WALL HAS SUDDENLY TURNED INTO COUGARTOWN, OMG. HAHAHAHA. =)))

ah well, tonight was funny. chatting with random people about my dream boy. 8-> my friends are evil, okay. =)))) Pursue Future Boyfriend, WTF GUYS. =))))) And yes, we are COUGARS. AHAHAHAHA. I love you Mia and Loise! Chatted with Denise too! I missed her! :) So funneh. We chase the boys we could never have. HAHAHA. Excited for Ateneo, though! I have motivation now. OHOHOHO. HAHAHA. Puro nalang boys eh. =))) I swear, I HAVE to get into Ateneo. =)))) And, i'm actually considering dorms now. Oohhh. :> INDEPENDENCE, FCK YEAH! Jayjay is mean. TREES ARE NICE. HAHAHAHA. Ang samaaaa. Pero natawa ako ah. =))))

lethargic.

i swear, i've been so lethargic. @-)

• ONE TREE HILL! I just started this morning and i really like it! i used to watch it before but i never really kept track. aahhh nathan and lucas! idk i like them both eh. HAHA. =))
• oi! kopio's baaaaaaack! :O
• no moar tennis. wala, bigla akong tinamad. HAHAHA.
• didn't go to the 3A thingo today. tamad pa rin. HAHAHA.
• didnt go to enrollment either. HAHAHA TAMAD!!! but yeah, got enrolled. whoa, senior year. @-) i like the books. imma read them na. :D
• will watch glee's laryngitis now. yay. :D
• don't know about trumpets tomorrow. don't know whether we still have streetdance in the morning. :/ meeeehhh. i actually don't care about the fair anymore. im too tamad to care. HAHAHA. bahala na. =))))

carry out.

• STREETDAAAAANCE !! oh god, so major totally stoked now!! :D can't wait for the EPIC showcase. i'm missing camp for it, fuck it. =)))) learned a new choreography today, and i can totally see now the whole thing. it's so cool kaya! :-bd i was placed beside kayla, the best dancer in class. DOES THAT MEAN SOMETHING? :O HAHA. i mean, i don't know, i just noticed that sir just places me wherever the good dancers are...HAHAHA KAPAL. =)))) but yeah, i totally feel like crap next to her. :( she's just so darn good eh!! BV. HAHA. but i must practice, practice, practice! i have to get better! if only i had a dancing partner i could practice with. pero wala eh, zhiela left na. fucker. [-(
• FAAAAAIR!!! i. am. so. stoked. like. asjkdhaskjahjasklfjalks!!!!! i can finally see hot/cute boys everywhere!! HAHAHA. NO IM SRS. =)))) i'd love to meet new people! ahihihihi :"> and i get to see my trumpets crushes!! omggg, so excited i can't even!! aahhhh!!
• ENROLLMENT is tomorrow. oh gosh, here we go, visual arts! i hope senior year will be good. i'll be going with my mom to enroll tomorrow. ah, school. @-) and 3A's having this thingo in market market. laser tagggg! don't know yet whether i should go or not.
• TENNIS - okay, i made my mind up. i'm taking tennis every MWF, 9:30 -11 am. i don't know, i guess it will do me some good. meh. :p will enroll tomorrow. GOODBYE BUMMING AROUND AND STAYING UP ALL NIGHT DAYS. :(

PRIORITIES ARE CONTINUALLY CHANGING.

HAHAHAHA. CLE LESSON = BRB APPLYING IN REAL LIFE. =))

ah, i don't know. 8-| as much as i am committed to camp, i have my own goals too. and didn't camp teach me to go after my goals? well now i'm applying it.

but it just strikes me how excited i was to get back to camp last year.

things change.

sigh.

i wish there was a way to this. but in the end if i really had to choose...i'd pick trumpets.

even if that means camp will be 5 days in palawan, in the beach, with my friends.

i don't know...i mean, camp was probably the best thing's that's ever happened to me last summer and maybe this summer, i was meant for something else.

maybe there was a reason i skipped the trumpets play i had during first year.

it's my time to shine on stage.

it's finally my time.

DUDE I LIKE, TOTALLY MISS TENNIS.

i haven't played in AGES. like, i don't know, 2 months or something? /:) SHIT. i swear, i miss the sport! i miss training team! i miss the awesome coaches! i miss everythingabout it! (and i sure as hell miss hitting the ball hard to put all of my frustations away! HAHA)

i swear, i need some sports in my life right now. i need something to keep my mind off things. i need an outlet. i need something to wake up early in the morning for. i need that feeling of fulfillment, satisfaction, i need something to motivate me...and tennis gives me all of those.

and the fact that i've been such a couch potato and bum these days..AND i've been eating nothing but fast food and junk jesus christ! man i need the exercise alright :| gots to get back to being healthy and in shape!

i hope it's not too late! i mean, may just started right? :D there were batches before and i think i can catch up. hopefully my mom would agree to this. i just need it in my life right now. :( i'm thinking of joining when we enroll this wednesday. yay! just hope i can find a good schedule, gah. :/

happy mother's day!

today was a good day, even though it just started for me. :))

life is good. :D

movies, books, and food make me happy. :)

and of course, we heart it! so much love there hihihi.

went to rockwell today.

FINALLY, A MALL AFTER 923812039103 YEARS.

i got a new book (dear john) and candy magazine! plus DVDs and the little prince i borrowed! YAY.

gosh, i'm so babaw. @-)

happy mother's day, mommy. :)

and of course, my mom. :)

---

started reading dear john, and oh my gaaaaaash! i like it so far. :D i'll continue it later. wheeee.

dude i want to surf....HAHAHA. no srsly! it looks cool kaya!! but i hate the ocean. :( but still, it looks flippin' cool! :D

and stupid DVD player is stupid. 8-| BV.

and duuuuude! i want shoes! those effing vans shoes! :'( they're so nice eh.

no actually, i just want to shop for ALOT of things right now. sigh sigh sigh. :(

and, i miss partying. GAAAHH. idk why. i swear, i wouldn't mind having my 1 tequila floor experience all over again. @-) HAHAHA. idk, i guess i just miss being bad. >:) OHOHOHO. no srsly. i do miss being bad. i miss going crazy. i miss the long, crazy, epic nights i felt alive. i miss the feeling of being unstoppable, fearless. aahh, first times. @-) =))

but lalala, those days are far long gone. i've stayed sober and clean for half the year already. @-)

but i wouldnt mind doing it all over again! HAHAHA.

it's the bitch of living.

• SPRING AWAKENING! listening to it again. why in the world did i miss when it was showing here? /:) whyyyy. effing ondoy. :| no wonder rachel's voice sounded so familiar in glee! I WAS LISTENING TO HER DURING SOPHOMORE YEAR WTF. =))) and jonathan groff! AAAHHH. the power couple! GODDAMNIT, how can i not know they were from spring awakening? /:) fail realization. i really want to watch it na!
• MUSICAL THEATRE! I swear i'm coming back. i miss it too much. glee inspires me. and to think i'm back in trumpets! the more i'm craving for that feeling. eh. i just want to perform again. i miss the feeling of fulfillment i get.
• I FEEL OLD. I swear, SDTA kids never fail to make me feel old. :( BV. they're all just so young! i feel so old ajsdklajskldaskda;da!!!! it's like, i've been there, done that. 8-| :/
• ZOOEY DESCHANEL toffee says i look like her ahihihihi. bloody mushroom asian hair. ugh. full baaaangs. ah well, it's cute anyway. HAHA. new look wheee!
• DISNEY KID! to get away from reality, sometimes it's nice to be a kid. :)
• VERY INCOHERENT: that's me right now. LALALALA~
• I HAVEN'T GONE OUT FOR A WEEK BUT I DON'T CAREEEEE~ everyone has their own thing going on. i got mine too. it's not much tho. :/ OHWELL!!!!! fuck you, review classes.
• RANZ BIRTHDAAAAAY he made libre sa yellow cab YAY. first time i went out with the SDTA kids. meh, they're okay. just not my type of group. i wish i had other friends...

get ready for the showdown !

been listening to black eyed peas. i swear i love their music. they make me want to daaaance.

there's a 3A outing soon! i'm excited, i miss those kids. maybe next wednesday and they're planning a trip to batangas (whoa, again!) before may 20. i just hope it doesn't hit on the day of my dance classes, gahhh. :/ and denise's birthday is up! may 13. i need to get her a gift. and kevin's going back here on may 14. but then there's the trumpets fair around that time. i'm excited. :D

sigh, everyone has review classes. i have so much epic plans in mind but they feel useless without the money, transpo and friends. none of which i have at the moment. :( i guess i'll be spending most of my days at home now, but i'm alright, i guess. i get to save more money and buy more stuff for myself. :D and i have projects to keep me occupied. and a couple bunch of shows i have to marathon and movies i have to watch.

damn i look so asian with my hair. like korean. idk. full bangs faaaaail. :O don't know how i'm supposed to work with this kind of hair. ohwell. :-j it's pretty fucked right now. like i didn't see that coming. 8-|

colormekatie is such an inspiration. i've got some ideas to work on. for now, i made 'don't rain on my parade' as my first set of colormekatie inspired project pictures.

i miss partying. i just want to go crazy. if i could, i'd do the 1 tequila floor experience all over again. =)) i'm not even kidding.

and i miss the beach. :( i belong to the sand, sea and waves. i miss the peace and calm of everything. i just want to get away again. to run away. i'd do anything to get away from this place.

but god, i swear. I REFUSE to get dark the next time i go to the beach. Like, i won't even go out. I'll just stay in. @-) HAHAHA. No, i'm serious! I can't grow any darker than I already am! :'( And to think I just started putting on whitening cream (which is really effective!) HAHA. 3A's outing is on May 16-17, YES! thank god it won't hit my dance classes! yaaay! I think i'll go. :D and goddamn, WHITE SAND BEACHES FUCK YEAAAHHH!! i'm excited. i hope it pushes through, srsly. :D I don't mind going to Batangas the second time around. @-) and, imma save up for it. :D we'll be staying in Rose Gold Beach Resort. :D pretty place! :D I'D DO OUR BATANGAS BEACH TRIP ALL OVER AGAIN IF I COULD! \:D/ snorkelling, stargazing, here i goooo! :D AND THEY HAVE FLOATING COTTAGES ON SEA WHAT.

okay, will continue my GLEE marathon now. i miss it na. :D gosh, i love the home episode. and YES, this means I will download all the songs again. =)))) such a gleek! L-)

OH MY GOSH I LOVE GLEE! TOO MUCH LOVE I CAN'T EVEN

JESSE ST. JAMES I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU

WHY ARE YOU GAY

OKAY I'M SORRY I LOVE GLEE TOO MUCH

I AM PROUD TO BE A GLEEK! L-)

ALWAYS GIVES ME THE GOOD VIBESSSSS! :D

HAROOOO.

Lalalala. Trumpets. :D

Conflict. :(

Eh. Teen Camp and the dance showcase thingo are on the same date! OHNOES. :( major bummer! :'( I wish it was possible to go to both but I don't know anymoreeeee. :( final practice is on the 26th while the showcase is on the 27th. Teen Camp's around 24 to 28. Damn son. :| It still might be in Palawan, though. Not sure because Tita might not make it due to her surgery. Gah. Just hope things work out for me. :|

Eeeee! :-x So excited for the trumpets fair thingo. :"> AHIHIHI. ;)) HOT BOYS PART 2! HAHAHA! =)) I love erika! She's so awesomeeee. And we both like the same guys. teehee. :"> So many cute boys in Trumpets! I simply must meet them all! @-) HAHAHA. I swear, I want to make so much new friends in trumpets. Damn son, I wish I enrolled in other classes as well to meet more new people.

Aaaaand, I feel old. :( The people in my class are all younger than me! :'( BV LIFE! HAHA BITTER. =)) Ah, regrets. Well. :-j Wala na rin akong magagawa. Tumatanda nako. :)) But they make me feel young. B-) They make me wish I did more things in life when I was younger. :p

Trumpets is faaaahn. More bonding and yeaaaah. :> Awesome, awesome people. And yes, my happy crush! Peter Pan! :) It's nothing, though. Hehe. :"> And gosh, I hate being dark. BV. :( Going to make myself white again, I must! :O And I cut my hair. Teeheee. :"> Got bored and I felt like crap. You know, the usual feeling when I cut my hair. Usual reason. Eh, well. @-) I hope this hairstyle works out for me. :P

Okay, WOW I made a blog post. HAHAHA. I feel hyper. @-). Watching GLEE now. Missing so much shows, gah adgajkdhasdal; One last month! Must make the most out of it. >:)

and duuuuuude! i am so totally bummed! i want my review classes...NOW! I feel so useless. :( I mean I know it's bullshit because eventually i'll get lazy but I want to be out with people everyday! MOTHEREFF. everyone's out taking review classes while i'm just at home. BV LIFE. [-( takte. june pa saken. :/ Everyone seems to be enjoying their review classes and making so much friends and ugh, BV, i feel so distant and isolated! i wish i can change my schedule, but it's too late. :(

Sunkissed in Batangas! :)

Here goes the epic photoblog! :)

FRIDAY: April 30,2010.

• Loise came with her jejemon shirt. HAHAHA.
• Went shopping around SM/Glorietta/Greenbelt/Landmark.
• Got picked up at Shell, Magallanes.

• Starbucks! Cup of Awesome. :> From now on we shall never use our real names. Every time we buy something, we have a theme and pick out a name. :> And I finally gots the peppermint mocha i've been craving for ages!
• Fun Roadtrip! We stayed up til' 3AM talking about the most random stuff. Funny crap. :)) JEJEMON WAKEKEMON! xD. Ghost stories! :O LOL AT NICHIE'S TITO MAKING THE RANDOM "OHHHH!" NOISE HAHAHAHA. we died. =)) I don't even know why we screamed. =))

SATURDAY: May 1, 2010.

• Arrived at our own little house around 3AM. Sleeeeep. I couldn't sleep though. :( Stayed up til' sunriseeee...which was a fail. =))

• Saw the most adorable and nicest dog ever! Hershey! :) I love it to bits. :)

• Went for a little morning swim after some yummy breakfast. :D

• Me at the beach, finally after 7 years! :D Ahhh, glorious sunlight. 8D

• More bumming out at the deck and whatnot, more pictures. 8D.

• Nichie's cute pink flipper thingos! :D

• Cup of Awesome! We all put our names on the plastic cups to save em'. Cool beans.

• Awesome lunch, and got our hair braided! Wore our booties as well. We feel like Lara Croft. Haha! We were going to go Intro Diving soon. :> Ohohoho!
• Diving was...an experience, alright. ;) Sadly, I have no picture of myself in my super badass diving suit. :( Nichie's Tito was my DM. I went 30 feet under the sea in 30 minutes! I saw Dory and Nemo, haha. :))

• Dinner was yummy. Stargazing at the beach was lovely! It was beautiful. :) It was amazing! The sky was wow, just wow. Wonderful. :)
• Lied down on the deck and got i don't know, high? HAHAHA. So much hipster/jejemon/wakekemon/sabawness going on, my gosh. =))

SUNDAY: May 2, 2010.

• Awesome breakfast and can I just say that they play such good music? :) Nirvana, Goo Goo Dolls, awesome songs! Painted our nails afterwards. Got mine painted blue. We were supposed to put waves in them but we didn't have time.

• Admiring the super chillax view. :)

• Went snorkelling afterwards. It was so cool! Haha. I like it way better than diving, I guess. I'm too scared of the water. HAHA!

• Had effing cramps right after lunch. :( I decided not to go snorkelling anymore and just stay in the room to rest. :(

• Felt better after taking the meds, surprisingly. HAHAHA. I started taking pictures everywhere with my macbook, which was retarded and hilarious. =)) Photobooth fail! =))

• More retardation on the deck with Loise and Nichie. We started doing continuous jump shots. It was hilarious! =)) HAHAHA.

• Since I couldn't dive/snorkel with them, I was left alone for awhile. Decided to chill at the dining place. It had a beautiful view. :)

• Spent time drawing the view ala alexis bledel from sisterhood of the travelling pants. ;) Relaxed and listened to some cool summer music. :)

• Sunset time. :> Went in our summer dresses to watch the sunset. It was beautiful. :) Sunset photoshoot! Such beautiful pictures! :)

• Had a nap afterwards. Woke up and it was 9PM, wow. Left Planet Dive. :( Late Dinner at the binalot place. Such yummy place. Got home around 12 or 1.

Had the greatest time with great people! I will miss the beach. :( Back to reality. Nothing to look forward to anymore. :-<>

you make me feel aliiiiiive :)

• SDTA - Awesome. I have friends in there now, and we're all starting to get close. Bonding! They invited me to watch Iron Man with them this saturday, but i'll be at the beach. Bummer. :/ Funny too, on facebook. PARA. ohgod. how weird is it hearing your name repeatedly? /:) HAHAHA. They're cool. B-)
• Happy Crush! :D teehee. :">
• Enchanted Kingdom - was FUUUUN! Almost didn't make it though. I didn't wake up so zhiela went to my house HAHAHA. I died at Anchors Away. HAHAHA. Too much epic faez. =)) And we got so addicted to the roller coaster. @-) TRIPPIN AND HIGH ON COASTERS! @-)
• Inspiration - Been inspired lately. Art! :) Thanks to Devin Castro, ColorMeKatie and Haven't Got a Prayer! :D

always i wanna be with you and make believe with you.

my summer blog entries before used to be so long.

i used to talk about everything, anything under the sun.

now i don't even feel like blogging anymore.

hmm, and since i'm unproductive most of the time, maybe i should get back to blogging, yes?

i mean, who else do i have to talk to anyway. 8-|

everyone's out/unavailable.

so.

umm.

well this week has a chance of being pretty good.

i'm going to EK and Batangas (BEACH YES). EK's pending now though, but ohwell, at least there's the beach for the weekend. After that...I don't know anymore. :/ I've been trying to think of activities i could do but they all involve MONEY, TRANSPO AND FRIENDS. none of which i have. :( such a sad, sad life. ohwell, doing myself a favor here. don't want to waste the summer away. maybe i should go work on a project or something. gosh, i am being a hermit again.

BRB, looking for a life.

Amsterdam.

You know what?

FUCK LIFE.

life always fucks you in the ass. Hard.

I'm tired of bullshit.

I'm tired of giving a flying fuck about everything and everyone.

I'm tired of emotions.

I'm tired of feelings.

I'm tired of people, in general.

People are...assholes.

As much as I try to see the good side in everyone,

I can't help but hate everything and everyone right now.

Especially myself.

Call me irrational, unreasonable, but fuck it.

I hate people.

I'm seeing things from a different perspective right now.

I'm starting to see the sides of people I really, really, really don't like.

I can't help it.

It fucking shows.

People aren't fucking toys.

You don't play with their hearts.

You see, you can't just fuck with their feelings.

You don't know, but you're hurting everyone else around you.

PUTANGINA. DI AKO TANGA. ALAM KO NA ANG MGA KAGAGUHAN MO.

sometimes I wish I could just disappear and disconnect.

I really don't want to be with people right now.

I'm tired of their bullshit.

And i'm pretty sure they're tired of my bullshit as well. I, myself, am.

now that I think about it, sometimes i guess it's better to be alone.

people always let you down.

i let people down.

I'm putting back these motherfucking walls back up again.

we'll run away forever

the wanderlust in me is calling.

i really, really, really miss travelling.

i am craving for a getaway like a drug.

right now, i can't help but look back at all those times I used to travel.

what the hell happened?

take me back to all those past summers.

i remember bohol. boracay. palawan. baguio. subic. corregidor. quezon. rizal. chocolate mountains. the beach. sand. sea. the loboc river boat ride that made me go wowzaaaaa. tarsiers. butterflies. seashells. island hopping. boat rides. sunrise and sunsets on the beach. walking around the island. dolphin and whale watching. swimming. sunshine. waterfalls. roadtrips. mountains. nature. tour buses. animals. underground caves. seals. tourists. tour guides. family. friends. fun. on another summer i remember hot sunny days spent playing with friends. playground. swimming. roofdeck. badminton. soccer. ice cream. horse rides. spa. stargazing. trip to the volcano. lying on the grass. amazing race. pasalubongs. amusement parks. enchanted kingdom. fireworks. walks.

i remember too many things.

too many good things that have come and gone.

i remember being a child of the sun.

the things i would do to get back to those times.

but now i'm just some loner who stays at home too much and does nothing but go online.

i never travel anymore.

i never spend the time with the family anymore.

i never go out with my childhood friends anymore.

and when i do go out it's always at the bloody mall.

gosh, what's new?

i really just can't take staying in this place anymore.

i want to go away, somewhere far, somewhere new.

i'm tired of the same old scenery.

dancing with myself

life, why must you always fuck me so?

I wanted a productive summer. A busy one.

I was so excited. I was looking forward to it so friggin' much.

I thought I would have alot going on for me.

But that's what I did.

I thought.

I wanted it to be the best.

But I doubt that's happening.

From the way things are right now, I can sense that this summer will SUCK.

Screw me for being completely pessimistic right now but I can't help it!

As much as I want to make the most out of this summer, the world really isn't helping much, you know.

I want to make each day of this summer count, you know? Make each day a wonderful one. Create something beautiful out of each day.

I've been looking for inspiration but...nothing. It's driving me insane.

I guess it's just that last summer was probably the best summer of my life, and i've been trying to make this summer even better, but honestly, it's not working for me. I shouldn't have expected from the start.

Well, for one, my plans for taking review classes didn't work out well.

I'm taking it during my senior year which is retarded.

I wanted to take it this summer already. I wanted to go out everyday, even if that meant studying. Because you know what? I actually need to learn and review because i'm not confident i'll get into Ateneo. Another thing is, I was so excited to meet new people from my review classes! I mean, it would be so awesome to hang out with new people everyday for a month right? But then again, that's not happening. I'll just be stuck at home which FUCKING SUCKS. :| I hate the fact that everyone's taking review classes which means they'll be gone all the time, while i'm at home, feeling sorry for myself. I also hate it that everyone's out/going abroad/travelling. I never travel over the summer which is depressing. There's a big world out there, you know? I can't be stuck in this house forever.

That's the thing.

I wanted a busy and productive summer so I wouldn't have time to feel sorry for myself.

So i'd feel that i didn't waste my summer away.

So at least, even if everyone's away, I'd feel as though i'm okay.

I don't want to feel lonely all the time anymore.

child of the sun

i have a dilemma.

i really, really, really, as much as possible, would not like to use the internet this summer.

not that i don't want to be missing in action or anything, it's just that, i need a break.

i'm tired of going online. it's sad! srsly! :(

i'd rather be out there, living it, rather than moping around at home.

i like the feeling of not having to go online for days.

it gives you this sense of freedom.

aahh, the things i would do to get away from it all.

another dilemma?

i don't know whether i should still go to the 3A outing tomorrow or not. :/

i'm not sure who and how many are coming, and everything's just so akdjasldjlasdka right now.

i honestly don't know what's going to happen.

nervous as well, because there's a chance i might not get my card tomorrow. shit. :|

i hope ms. doesn't call our house today, else i'm fucked. :|

and i really, really, really want to go to my dance classes tomorrow! :(

dancing is the only thing that's keeping me sane right now!

sayang yung one session eh. :/

dude, it's scented body lotion, okay?!

It is currently 12:19 as I am typing this one down.

I just woke up. Like, around 10 pm.

Why yes, my sleeping habits are fucked, once again.

And i'm in house prison. I have not seen sunlight for the whole week.

thank god it's easter sunday already!

screw you, holy week! screw you!

I cannot wait to get out of this madhouse already.

It's too crowded. oh god, i need a room.

turns out, dad's moving back in again. THE HORROR. :|

i finished marathoning 90210 season 2 earlier. I like, watched it for 6 hours straight. @-)

gosh, i love ivy and liam together! ivy reminds me of myself too much, sadly. :/ HAHAHA BV.

well, that was an eye opener. =))

I just can't wait to get out of this place already.

hopefully, my dad won't get in the way.

Whilst listening to Jason Mraz...

Do you know what I really want?

I want this summer to be productive. I want to be out every single day, I want to create something beautiful out of each day. I am tired of going online all the time. I am tired of being locked up in this house, not being able to see sunlight. I am tired of malls. I want to travel, see places i've never seen before, take photographs, explore, experience life. I want to try something different, something new. I want to get away as much as possible. I want to be out of this house 24/7, i want to bathe in sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and what have you, I want to go out so much that I won't even have time to go online anymore.

In short, I am tired of bumming around. I've got to make something out of this summer. But then maybe i'm just overreacting because it's just holy week. Hopefully, summer will get much, much, much more better next week. I can't wait for things to pick up already!

SUMMER 2010 ADVENTURE PLEASE HAPPEN.
give me a summer to remember.

fmlfmlfml !

• I miss fangirling. I miss going to concerts and meeting bands. I miss stalking them. I miss my music. Dude, what the hell happened? =)) I miss being inspired by martin, william, travis, alex, pete and gabe's blogs. I fail so much in being a fangirl. Greysh sort of reminded me that I was once a fangirl, too. Meh, i have outgrown that stage sadly. :/ But i think i'm coming back now! >:D
• Review classes is BULLSHIT without friends. everyone i know is practically spending their whole summer with their friends since they're all taking summer classes together. I AM BUMMED BECAUSE :

1. All I really want to do is spend the whole summer with friends WHILE actually learning shit. I mean I fucking NEED this! I'm not confident enough that i will pass THE ateneo.
2. I DON'T WANT TO STAY HOME THE WHOLE SUMMER AKJDSKADJALDKAJ THAT IS SUMMER SUICIDE. i mean this is pretty much my LAST SUMMER before college, ya know? IT BETTER BE THE FUCKING BEST. :| I really just don't want to waste my days away...i want to be out as much as possible. B-) ...Because we all know i don't ever travel over the summer lucky bastards. [-(
3. Going out everyday = allowance everyday. I need money. I'm broke and it's the only way i can actually get money and save and BUY SHIT/SPEND IT ON SHIT.
4. I just really don't want to be alone while everyone's away, you know? :(

Ugh fml, i mean, it's always the same conflict: money, transpo, the place, the people i'm taking it with, stupid fucking schedule i have to sync with everyone else's scheds ugghh !! I mean i might as well fucking study on my own if no one's taking it with me, but then i m tamad @-) HAHAHA fail much. ugh how do i do this !!

• I need to go shopping. I shouldn't be impulsive. I should learn how to control myself. I shouldnt be magastos. I swear, I really have to learn how to save money. :| Whatever happened to my 7k? Now I have so many things to buy but then i'm broke and i just keep on spending it for food, food, food, going out, FOOD. ugh.
• I am fat. I need to be skinny. I swear I never feel pretty anymore, whatever i do i just always get that shit feeling. :/ I've resorted to taking up those beauty tips but it's just not the same anymore! :/ I swear, this summer i WILL work on myself. :|
• I want my own room so bad. Not only because i NEED privacy (because some people in the house just really can't get enough of interfering with my life) but also because i would LOVE to decorate it. ah, i've been inspired to design my own room. sigh, if only. but whatevs, i'm still doing that project this summer of prettyfying the crappy room im currently in.

LORD JUST PLEASE MAKE THIS SUMMER THE BEST ONE. right now, i just feel like it won't be. :[

hello world !

i am baaaack! it's summer once again! well not really but in just a few more hours...it will be! :D

anyways, i just got my formal photobooth pictures from the xavier prom. we look awkward. :| HAHAHA i still want my red carpet and globe pictures though. 8-| they'll be giving the formal copies along with our dates' report cards this friday. ASKFJADAKLGF I WANT TO GET MY HANDS ON IT ALREADY!! i don't know if i'll be meeting my date to get it, though. :/ i wish i could, hahaha! i'll talk to him tonight, also basil to ask for the pictures.

tomorrow is also our last day as well, FUCK YEAAAAH! no epic plans, though. bummer. :/ well we had actually. we were supposed to go to EK and overnight in tagaytay then zipline then watch cobra starship but then...yeah. not happening. it's okay though, we're still planning to go out and get wasted and sleep over at loise's then probably watch cobra, enroll for trumpets and meet up with my date to get the pictures. boy i will be busy! D:

i even have the bloody anniversary to celebrate and i still have to hang out with lao and miles to go jamming and whatnot...but then there's holy week. and the week after that summer classes, workshops and trainings officially start. AAAHHH THE STRESS OF IT ALL. i haven't even enrolled for trumpets and MSA!

SPEAKING OF REVIEW CLASSES, i'm bummed that i have no one to take it with. :( i mean it would be REALLY nice to take it with friends but the place is so inconvenient for me. most of them are planning to go to katipunan or ortigas and it's sort of a hassle for me since i live in the makati area. sigh. 8-| i guess im taking it alone then. :( it would be way more fun though if i were with my friends. suuuuuck. :|

dammit i'm going manic depressive again. :| all these plans are stressing meeeeeee! :'(