in the city...

New York City.
The City that never sleeps.
The spontaneous people, the busy streets, the 24/7 stores, the neon lights, all the noise, the hype, the energy and the vibe. It's great.
I'd love to be in there. It's exactly the perfect place for me. It's for the insomniacs, the night owls, the party people, the people who love life.
You can just feel it in the city you know? You can feel that it's alive.

Zhiela's in NYC right now, and I can't be any more than jealous.
I envy her so much. She's like 34582792 miles away. She's seen fucking Times Square probably.
I really wish I can be with her right now in NYC.
I just want to feel alive.

If I could, I would jet there this very moment.
Just a quick random getaway, because I just feel like it.
So much can happen in NYC. I'd be barhopping, crashing from one place to another, meet strangers and enjoy all the city has to offer.
Kind of like a Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist Night.

One of these days. I will get my ass in there. I will go to the fucking US of A one of these days.

---

I feel compelled to write alot of stuff since I've been so inspired to write lately.
But I guess writing's not really my thing. Really now, I try. But I'm not really getting any better.
I just have this drive, this force, to say a million things. But I'm pretty messed up and incoherent most of the time.

I'm trying to finish three books this summer: Perks of a Wallflower, Like the Flowing River and the Lovely Bones. I'd be proud of myself if I can finish those 3 by the end of this summer. Hopefully, i'd be able to write better.

And it's the first of May! Today I will be playing basketball at school with some friends, should be fun. I'm planning to have some much needed alone time after, to make up for last friday night. I have to absorb some night air to get me thinking. Mmm, friday night at the city and i'm alone chilling. Sounds perfect. I might even re-watch 17 again! Haha. But I guess it would be better if I could spend tonight with someone. It's better to have some company on a lonely Friday night.

And, I really need to start downloading songs and fixing my iTunes. It's a must. I have alot to download on strikegently and on frostwire. I can hear it calling my name! I need alot of new music, alright. And my tennis lessons have ended, sadly. I enrolled for 8 sessions, but I only got to attend 6. I missed 2 sessions and I wasn't able to make up for it. It's sad, but I can't wait to take it again! The sucky thing is I won't have that much excercise this month. Well, Nichie actually invited me to take driving and diving lessons with her. But considering my state right now, I don't think I can. It's fucking 12 thou! I don't have that much fortune! Sucks.

It's May. A new month, a New beginning, and I can't be any happier.
I'm not saying I want to forget about March and April, but May is here, and it's time for a fresh start. March and April days have been fun and eventful, even batshit crazy, May should be too!
I cannot wait for the day I finally see the faces of my bestest friends in the world. I miss them too much!

Right now, i'm just really positive about things. I'm fueled and all geared up for what lies ahead.
I have so much energy and inspiration I want to share with people.
I have so much more to give, and alot more to gain.
I've never wanted so bad to feel so alive.
Inspiration has been visiting me alot lately, it comes from the most random places.
It's been really great.

---

I'm not gonna talk about Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Too much shit broke down. That was probably the peak of what's been happening for the past few couple of weeks/months.
For all the people involved, i'm sorry I had to screw your lives up.
It's just me. I'm messed up like that. I guess you just can't handle me at my worst.
But those 3 days have been a roller coaster ride for me. I've had so many realizations and alot of stuff happened.
Now i'm fine. :)

So cheers to May, let it be a great month!
WE CAN STILL SAVE THE SUMMER! \:D/

currently..

1:49 AM
I really want to type in a few things I have to say but i'm pretty sidetracked by the stupid koreanovela my mom's watching. having the tv near the computer's a bitch. i just want my own space right now, gah.

1:59 AM
Okay, it's been 10 minutes and I still can't type in something. Currently listening to Third Eye Blind's Jumper on youtube, because Last FM is such a dick. Apparently, I have used up the free trial of the Last Fm radio. Mothereffer. Will try to type something soon, once everyone else here hits the sacks except me.

2:02 AM
I wish I hadn't left my mcdonald's chicken sandwich in denise's fridge at her house. It's waiting for me to eat it. I can practically hear it calling me. O_O Maybe my mind's just playing tricks on me.

2:24 AM
Ah, motherfucker, i will never get this bitch done til they all just fucking fall asleep which will prolly be hours from now. Goddamn. Can't they already?! I'm about to write up a storm here.

...Might as well start now. I'll try.

Things have been pretty crazy lately.

Last night I was online again and well, there came more mindfucks. Seriously, we were all just giving each other mindfucks, i didn't know what to do anymore. So i kinda somehow lost it in the process so I pretty much tricked miggy into thinking i was fucking high or something. Props to kevin for telling me i was doing a good job. That was some good payback there. So Apex invited me last night to come hang with him and Stefo at Rockwell on Monday. It's kinda wtf-ing tho, it's like fate doesn't want me to. SumoSam burned up or something I heard, so i'm not so sure if Rockwell will be open on Monday. Kind of doubt it. Maybe it's fate's way of saying it's not really a good idea. Even my heart says the same thing after viewing all those pictures tonight. Pretty much realized again that it's fucking REALITY i'm dealing with here.

And today, I went to denise's spa. Had some good hand and leg massage while making kwento to her. God i love that place, the music and vibes and the COLLDDD AIRCON was the shit. We ate at Mcdo afterwards and started talking about shit. MEN. Swear to god, they complicate things. And we pretty much spilled out everything we had to say to each other. I don't even want to discuss it. It's too fucked up. GAH. We went to chill at her house after and talked more, went online, had no one to bug which sucked. And now i'm baaaccckk.

im kind of tired from EVERYTHING that i dont even want to talk about it or blog shit but for some reason i feel like im obligated to say something.

---

Ahahahaha. you stupid fuck. don't get your hopes up too high, kid. you're too late. i feel kind of sorry for you actually. don't believe in everything you hear. and considering that you're pretty gullible, ha. you dont know who you're dealing with. so, watch out. i just might give you the biggest mindfuck of the century. just sayinggg.

and god your smug face is creeping me out sweet baby jesus!
seriously tho, stop it. :|

i had alot of to say but i guess it all pretty much comes down to this. im not in the right mind or whatever to blog. give me some time. i might go hermit mode again this week, lol if ever that is even possible with all these plans.

monday i have tennis in the morning and denise will be enrolling in school at the same time so she might catch me during my lessons. SHAAAMMEEE. aha. and then idk if the whole hanging out with apex and stefo thing pushes through. im thinking twice about going actually.

and friday is so random. ill be playing basketball at school with denise and kevin, prolly miggy too since he lives near.

all i really want right now are my girlfriends. god i miss them, and i miss hanging out and all. it makes me forget all the bullshit in the world. i need them to remind me again how its like to not be involved with boys and all that crap.

and it really sucks having parental unit 24/7. im still not used to it even if it's been more than a month already. sure i may have gained her trust and she might even allow me to stay out late and grant me more freedom but it can't spare me from the paranoia i feel everytime im out with people im not supposed to be with. its nervewracking thinking if ill ever get caught soon.

and god may is so fucked up! the whole ek/sleepover thing + denise birthday + david archuleta and cook thinggg. god, dont even get me started. you know how i am with upcoming events/concerts. i get SUPER stressed. i hate it so much. ill try to be chill about it as much as possible and just let things be i guess.

im so -__-'' right now.

sabaw

god im not exactly in the mood for this because i have a pretty complicated mind and ya...i still need to sort stuff and think some things over.
but anyways, let's get this bitch done.

so last night/yesterday i was pretty much upset idk why but it must be the stupid date or whatever. idk, for some reason it pissed me off. god i am so fucked up like that. and i actually went online last night like WOW because i dont really do that. people online are so blaahhh~ but can you believe it i was actually talking to 10 people. THAT'S ALOT. people dont talk to me on ym i tell you. well i guess my sad face stat caught their attention. aw ily guysss. you bitches actually give a fuck about me haha UNLIKE SOMEONE ok shut the fuck up ara you're being fucking bitter STFU.

so anyways. i kinda figured out why i was pretty upset thanks to neko. hahaha god i love that boob so much lol.

Neko: maybe you are on your period or something ara, thats why you are crazy, hahahahaha
Me: OH SHIT HOW DID YOU KNOW HAHAHAHA OHMYGOD I DIDNT THINK OF THAT!!!!!! HAHAHAHA NO WONDER!!!!! =))=))=))=))=))
Neko: jesus christ hahahahaha well, girls are like that when i talk to them sometimes perfectly natural and batshit crazy
Me: OH GOD THANKS NEKO if it werent for you i wouldnt have figured out why im so fucked up =)) im just laughing this is so funny!!!!
Neko: -_- well trust me, im having a bigger laugh hahahaha well if you saw me now youd laugh more im seriously laughing no wonder im PMSING =))

and this just seriously just made me ROFL my fucking balls off. FUCKING FUNNY. I swear!

Neko: you need to talk about this stuff with more people ara its not healthy brooding over stuff like that by yourself constantly
Me: thats why i need you.
Neko: -_- you know i cant help all the time you need to get other people too and by the way the way you said that sounds wrong
Me: HUH HAHA wtf is wrong with that neko
Neko: eh it just does ara
Me: WTF YOU PUT MALICE! HAHA geez youre overreacting!

Idk that was just SO FUCKING GOLDEN. CLASSIC. I SWEAR! HAHAHA! its never really awkward with him haha

so anyways. i talked to alot of people last night, and i just wanted to say thanks for giving a shit about me. they kept me company through the night and they made me feel so nice. :)
so ya today i went out with denise, kevin and miggy to celebrate the first monthsary. today is the fucking day of that stupid flipping party but i dont care jesus i am not bitter goddamn! it sucked though because i missed tennis again :( fuck i slept 4 am watching all the TAI TV episodes on my ipod. stupid insomnia. so ya i came there pretty early, around 11, so i just went to power books in greenbelt and just read sloppy firsts. man i need to buy that book soon.

so yes soon met up with denise kevin was a bit late because he had lunch at polo club with his tita. so i ate at wendy's and talked to denise. and he came in after sometime but he still had to go with his tita and then his tita sat with us wtf it wasnt really awkward she was kinda fun for a 57 year old woman. they left for awhile more time with denise and then kevin went back. he gave me NEW ZEALAND AIR AND WATER WTF i didnt know he was serious about that hahaha and he gave us both necklaces from new zealand aw haha it was a really nice monthsary gift thanks kevin! i kinda feel bad for not giving him a gift, it sucks being broke i swear. and he got miggy a belly button warmer it has possum fur FTW. and well ya, talked and stuff.

we mostly did random shit just walked around, hung out, we didn't exactly know what to do while waiting for miggy. we were kind of trying to do the photo game thinggg but we couldnt really come up with something creative so we just ended up mallhopping in all the ayala malls. chilled at starbuckss and then decided to watch 17 again for the hell of it haha. we needed to see that sterling knight [?] guy denise was comparing kevin to. well we missed the half of it but whatever, we went in anyway and watched. felt good to stretch out my legs in the cinema haha. 17 again was random funny shit. i HAVE to watch the whole thing, goddd. we probably only watched 30 minutes of it! even less! and we payed 120 bucks for that. god what a waste haha. oh ya we gots kevin to hook us up some guys LOLOL no thanks.

and then after we just hung out at the center thingy. waited for miggy and he soon came. FINALLY got to do jewella. my god retarded shit haha. and then denise and kevin soon left, as usual, left with miggy and he was like my bodyguard/stalker or something when he walked me to mcdo haha. and then yess.

---

7 PM:
I am sitting outside Mcdo and i'm eating some really greasy and salty french fries and drinking some coke while waiting for my mom to pick me up. The city is alive since it's a friday night. Everyone's out and kicking, while I'm here in this little isolated table, thinking through things. Things i don't want to discuss with no one else but myself. Maybe my shrink is an exception. I was hoping I hadn't texted my mom so early to come pick me up. I had to chill, think some things over, sort some shit out, talk to my shrink over starbucks or something if ever that is even possible. I wish I could just call my shrink and we'd share a cup of mocha frap or something in starbucks and just talk. I really miss him, and I haven't seen him for more than a year. I badly just need his company right now. it's a night full of thoughts and i only have myself to dwell on it alone. stupid mcdonald's isn't even helping me either, blasting out these stupid love songs. It's such a bitch. Everyone's enjoying the night, YOU probably are, and jesus IM UPSET about that, KILL ME im such a fucking sadist/masochist. God, i have problems i tell you! I wanted to walk around, chill but I guess it was too late. I see the new car my brother just bought and I knew that I just had to go home.

And then im home right now and online once again and godddd it sucks. GREAAATTT :| i am so fucking bitter and upset and envious but its probably me just PMSing. stupid fucking mood swings. like the fuck with. DID YOU FORGET THAT I WAS EVEN ALIVE~

yes fuck, I AM QUOTING DEMI FUCKING LOVATO over desperation. what the actual fuck.

and gooodd I dont want to get myself into shit, i swear. wherever this is heading too, i dont want to be a part of it. i am through with boys for the moment. DONE. i dont want to stress myself in finding someone to help me get over that fucking ass. I am through looking for a boy that will distract me. through with finding myself a new guy. BACK TO ZERO. lets pretend this shit never happened. god things are getting so complicated.

WHATEVER. im hungry. got to jettt.
im sorry if i gave you guys a mindfuck with this post.
im going through one right now so this post is pretty much messed up.
DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE~
AHAHAHA sabaw.

23. [LONG ASS post ahead]

Okay so before I get started on this post, I just want to greet:

HAPPY FIRST FRIENDSHIP MONTHSARY KEVIN! and HERZLICHEN GLUCKWUNSCH ZUM GEBURTSTAG, YOU GERMAN BITCH! (aka, happy frickin' birthday stefo)

So originally I wasn't supposed to post today but gah, thoughts and ramblings and shit going through my head. sometimes i just have to blog them all down to keep me from losing it.

You all know me for having alot of hobbies and i mean ALOT. alot to the point that you can say that maybe I AM well-rounded. But that IS the problem. I do too much stuff i don't even master, stuff i'm not even good at. just hobbies that i'd love to try out. it sucks because you know so much yet you're no good at them. like being a jack of all trades and master of none. I wish I just sticked to a certain hobby and just became a pro at it or something. I've been thinking about my hobbies and activities and such. I've realized that I do too much things, yes. But i never really take them that seriously, ya know? It's like when I get started on something, i never finish it.

For example, i took guitar lessons during 7th grade. I thought I would stick to the guitar being my top instrument to play but I didn't stop there. after taking a year of guitar, i took drums lessons after in yamaha during summer. i never got to finish it either since i got lazy. so i started having piano lessons during my whole freshman year. I chickened out on my recital, it was easy but i didn't believe in myself i guess. and then during the summer of my freshman year, i took musical theatre at trumpets, just because. I ended up not liking it i guess because of the stupid dragon lady. and then came my sophomore year, i took violin lessons. I ended up not learning shit and i chickened on the recital again. i even lost my violin, goddamn. and then ya, there's this summer, i'm taking only tennis and so far i am loving it. i wish i really took dance lessons but it's not happening anymore.

see? they're all a one time thing. I never take lessons again after i've tried it. i don't continue it, pursue it. i've always wanted to be that well-rounded person, reason for why i've tried out so much stuff in the past. i just don't like it because i do so much shit, i don't even know if i HAVE a talent, ya know? when you ask me what my talent is, i wouldn't even know what to say!

I don't really sing, but i do, secretly. I used to write songs, stories, poetry and such but i guess i'm not really meant to be a writer. I used to even skateboard too, back in 6th grade but i grew out of it. I love taking pictures of people, i love photography but i don't even have a goddamn SLR so how can i take lessons and take photography seriously? i photoshop and do graphics and all that crap, do some html, computer stuff but i guess those are just random stuff i do. and back in 5th/6th/7th grade i used to draw alot, like soooo much. I was obsessed with anime, hence i drew alot. god i loved it too much, i even learned japanese, geez. i still do draw from time to time but not as much. for some reason they always called me the artist in class. I even used to play a little bit of soccer for godsakes and i really enjoyed playing badminton. god and there's still so much crap i do. i am confused.

sometimes I wish i just started early on something. i wish i learned how to dance when i was young. it kinda sucks starting pretty late, and i wish i took lessons in the past. i feel like dancing is a part of me, though im not really seen as the dancing type. i guess it's because my dad used to be this really pro dancer and ya, kinda passed it on to me. how i wish i could dance, the feeling is amazing. whenever i watch people dance, there's this feeling that takes over me and i just want to let loose, ya know?

and then there's piano, something i too wished i had started on earlier. starting at the age of 13 is kinda late i guess. if i started when i was around 8 or something and took it for around 4 years straight or something, i could be playing a piece right now. it's just wonderful. whenever i watch them, it's just beautiful, ya know? the way they play it is so evocative.
and tennis, goooddd. why did i only start that now? i never knew i could enjoy it so much! im not really the sporty type but i really do love it. so far, my favorite sport. yes, im still a noob at it, and im stuck in that beginners class full of 8-10 year old kids. i still cant master the right way to do a forehand and a backhand but i dont care! i am WILLING to continue tennis.

i don't know, but so far this is all i've got: I will continue tennis in school. I will continue taking violin lessons in school with or without my violin. I will try to finish first grade piano by myself, while learning some pieces and songs i can cover in the process. i will learn to love how to read the stupid notes. and for dance? gah i wish i can take lessons. but ya, it wont hurt to learn over youtube, lol.

---
well nothing much for the past few days. i have gained 3 fucking pounds already since the start of this summer. thats not good. its because ive been binging out alot, i eat like more than 7 meals a day. i just wish i can shed off some unwanted pounds, gaaaddd. but its hard with food all around you. :(

and well tennis is still tennis. i kinda feel sucky because im like the oldest yet i screw up alot compared to the kids. its embarassing, really. i still cant serve a good enough forehand and backhand. but ya, its been good for the past 2 sessions because i kinda have my freedom back. mom didnt go with me for the last 2 days so i always walk to glorietta after my lessons and eat and buy stuff. i wish i could look around like i usually did before, but idk, knowing that shes waiting for me at home, i guess that means im still on house prison even outside, gah. i always have to get back early because she needs the maid around. sides i dont have money, whats the point in staying.

and mmm ya. i have finished go ask alice. it was okay, i guess. now i cant wait to read perks of a wallflower. ive been itching to read it. and ive been reading so much stuff online, tumblr, bloghopping, reading/collecting quotes, fiction press, stories and such. and yes, ive been watching ALOT of movies.

oh, i played the piano too! i havent touched it for like the longest time, i dont remember how to play canon anymore! or anything i learned in the past, AT ALL. i really dont remember! its really sad but im going to start playing again just to refresh my memory. im currently learning clair de lune (very lovely piece) and im continuing somewhere in time again. ive yet to cover songs.

so ya thats pretty much my summer.

----

and ive had it. im giving it up. its pretty fucking stupid anyway. i am through with the mindfucks you give me and everything else. i am sick of it. i am through with your bullshit. i dont even know what made me doubt my feelings/things but whatever, im back to where i started. i cant wait to meet whoever the hell that person is out there to make me fall head over heels crazy over him. haha so much for those destiny shit movies i've been watching. hopeless romantic mode bb~

but whatever. screw love life. is pretty pathetic relying your happiness over someone, ya know? its either he makes it or breaks it. thats stupid. i strongly believe that we can be happy with or without a lover, jesus christ. so for the meantime, while i am waiting for my destined soulmate whoever the hell he is, i will be enjoying my life, like i always have been. i dont want to be a damsel in distress, please. i know i am so much more than that. and that's also one thing i love about my friends, they dont slave themselves away to boys. theyre more of a fuck, i care kind of person. and i love that about them! their world does not revolve around their crushes whatsoever. that's why i love being around them. it makes me enjoy being single and makes me learn to love life more.

and homfggg. gad, the david archuleta/cook thingy's next month. holeehh craappp. i still want to watch, i really do! :( but its exactly the day after the ek/sleepover thing. i hope it pushes through tho. both of em'.

ok why am i so random =))=))
i just realized ive typed my fucking ass off this post, haha!
its pretty loooonnggg. guess i think too much sometimes. =)))))

anyways, im gonna go jet. i still have tennis tomorrow + celebrate monthsary.

a few things

so today, we went to Mass, afterwards Rockwell. Finally got to buy Go Ask Alice. Can't wait to read it. :) And then my god we ate alot idk. Then we decided to tour my brother's gf around intramuros/manila/letran (my brother's college) and whatnot. Mmm. pretty pretty place, i figured i haven't been there for awhile. felt like some tourist or somthn. And then we mall hopped, went to Mall of Asia, ATEATEATE omfg feel so horrible. And i dont really know wtf we did there and now i'm baaaccckk. Yes. long day.

Tumblr is stressing me. I've followed ALOT of people lately and now I have to backread like 40+ pages a day. FML! :( it's STRESS~ now i have about 17 followers, and im following 75 people. Gdamn, with this thing going on, i cant afford to miss a day in tumblr!

oh and haha, i used my phone/mom's phone to twitter today. HAHA. it was so amusing because i dont really use my phone for internet but ya i was bored. my load was like 150 and it became 70 just using the web for like idk 5 minutes! GAAHHH~ but yes, i twittered thrice. harhar. plurk was fail tho. ohwelll.

and i saw my friend from trumpets today! at moa! idk what her name is though...i kinda forgot. haha! dude i swear thats like the 2nd time ive seen her outside trumpets..lol ya. just sayin.

and mmm i have plans for this week! yay! well um originally i was supposed to hang out with denise, jebbie and seej but idk they cancelled it so i'll be having a spa day with denise and jebbie at denise' spa this saturday. mmmm really nice, i've been wanting SO BAD for a spa day. mmm body massage :> and then haha tomorrow is international pot day lolol apex invited me to go to his house to smoke some pot but hahahah thats bull =)) and mmm, thursday is me, denise and kevin's first friendship monthsary! \:D/ we were planning on celebrating that day but we moved it to this friday at greenbelt/glorietta. whopeee. and oh ya, stefo's birthday is on thursday too! awesomeeee.

i still have tennis tomorrow. MUST have INTENSE training session. i cheated too much today. im not gaining or losing pounds this sucks! and ya ive been such a facebook zombie lately im like flooding everyones inboxes with my shit, i answered like alot of quizzes and did alot of shit there haha. xD. aghahhhh~ i feel kinda stressed now idk why i have this NEED to be productive and this NEED of keeping up and all that crap. and fck it, ITS SO HOT~ cant stand it goddamn everyones complaining about it. screw the weather!

well ya, pretty much it. im kinda sabaw right now if you havent noticed that with my post. cheerios. xD.

tennis & violin this school year

Hai guise!
So. The 3 day Hana Yori Dango Rewatch Marathon has ended.
I am off to watching Hana Yori Dango Final the Movie ASAP. Not tonight tho, I had too much HYD for the past 3 days, haha.

Sooo. Something just hit me while I was watching it.

...MY VIOLIN. O_O

Yes, I saw Hanazawa Rui play Canon and Salut D' Amour and it triggered that feeling again. I remember that burning passion to play violin more than a year ago. I remember watching Hanazawa Rui play the violin, and me swooning over it. I remember promising myself that I will play the violin like him one day. So. Yes.

I NEED to find my violin. I NEED to learn violin again. So I just might take Violin again for SIIGE this year. I promised myself that I would take piano again, but I somewhat lost the mood. Seeing that I haven't improved much with the violin, I am planning on pursuing it this year.

But I lost my violin days before my recital, which SUCKS. And I couldn't find it either. T_T
So. Plans are the ff:

a) FIND THE BLASTED VIOLIN. Once this SY starts, I NEED to find my Violin.
b) Borrow Nichie's violin if ever I don't find it. She's nice enough to lend it to me for the whole school year. :)
c) Buy a new violin. Meh, i don't think it would cost me much. I remember buying my violin last summer, it only cost 1500 or something. I guess I can just save up for it.

I hope my mom still has enough cash tho to enroll me for SIIGE. D:

Aaanndd. Well ya, i've been thinking. I want to pursue tennis as well. No shit! Haha! I know I'm not the sporty type or whatever, but I really am enjoying the sport, haha! Tennis just can't be a one time summer lesson kind of thing. I really wish to pursue tennis. Besides, I need to keep fit the whole year. Haha! PE's pretty useless anyway, it's always free time. So yes, I'm also thinking of taking up Tennis for SIIGE. Only problem is if my mom has cash for both my Music and PE SIIGE. Agghh. Sucks being broke, i swear. T_T

I hope I can enroll both for tennis and violin this year. I'd be seriously frickin' happy if i could. But then she'd be paying like plus 20k just for that. Craaapp. >_>.

----

Well nothing much about these days. They're just full of bull, actually. Putting my summer days into waste. Lately, i've been kind of inspired. Mmm. Yesss. I want to seriously improve in writing that's why I need to read as much literary crap as possible. And can I just say? I love tumblr so fucking much! The people there and their blogs are awesome. <3 So come follow me anytime, yeah? And yes, i'm on my nerd/artsyfartsy/indieartist/hippie/inspired mode. I am putting on my glasses. Hell yes! Switching to my other ego. Mmm. I'll be watching tons of movies, I swear to god. I have TONS waiting for me. And I have one series to marathon on now: 90210. Yep, got my hands on the dvd of the first season. MMM. Must keep the inspiration coming, to pump me up for the school year ahead! I swear, I will WORK MY FUCKING ASS OFF this junior year. I will STOP being a failure and start fighting. I am sick of feeling like shit. GANBATE!!!! Anything to get into college with my friends. I finally have a reason/motivation. :] I am inspired to live. :]

...Random much. xD.

Art is Life. :]

freedom

This sucksssss.
I miss my freedom.
Goddamn.
I feel like i'm in effing house prison or somthn.
Hell, I feel like a motherbleepin' hermit!

I just miss my friggin' freedom, ya know?
It sucks having her around.
I just miss my old summer days.
Those days wherein I was COMPLETELY free, and I could pretty much do any goddamn thing I want to do. No rules whatsoever. I can do ANYTHING i wanted.

It sucks having car rides.
Truth be told, I miss commuting. It was much more fun, and it's extra workout and excercise for me. Besides, with commuting, I don't go STRAIGHT home. I can still roam around Glorietta, Greenbelt, SM for all I care and just spend the whole day there. And with commuting, I get money from my mom. That way I get to save money and actually get to buy shit during summer.

But nooo.
Now I have to go home straight right after tennis, and just waste another summer day at home.
What a bummer. T^T

I just really miss my summer days.
No, i miss my frickin' freedom.
Jesus. T_T
It's going to be like this now. Need to get used to it. GAHHH.

It doesn't feel like summer at all. This sucks. FML. :/

first day of tennis

Just got back from my first day.
Tennis was bloody fun! I ended up being with Kakai, and this other 3rd year girl. We were just few, which is good, haha.
And the coaches were really nice. :]

So we did 3 laps around the court, and started mastering the basic pattern. Jesus, we kept on repeating the damn thing for 2 whole hours, no shit! We just stuck to the routine for 2 straight hours just to get the hang of it.

Racket back down, Adjustment steps, Something contact with the ball, and then something. The coach was repeating it like some chant for 2 hours! I wonder if he ever gets sick of saying it. He taught us the forehand and the backhand. Yeah, pretty much.

I was kind of tired after, but my body didn't really feel sore or anything. Just a bit tired.
And now I'm back home. I burned approximately 600 calories with that. Yay. \:D/.
Tennis again tomorrow! I'm sort of nervous for some reason. I mean, there's nothing to be nervous about, but I'm just worried about who I will be with tomorrow for beginner's class. MWF schedule has different people. Gaaahh.

That's pretty much it.
My life sucks.
I miss my friends.
So ya, bye.

easter + tennis + college

Wait let me just say: FUCK YOU ZHIELA! YOU LUCKY BITCH!!!! She's in the US right now, in LA. And guess fucking what. WILLIAM BECKETT WILL BE IN LA TOMORROW.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Okay.

So I've been out the whole easter sunday.
My god, I'm so drained.
I haven't slept for 24 hours, literally.
I woke up 11 pm saturday night, and I only got to sleep 11 pm sunday night.
My body clock's fucked.
But that's about to change. :>

So yesterday, we spent Easter at Trinoma. I just have to say that I like that place alot. It's a nice place to chill. We ate at Taco Bell, and I finally got to meet my brother's new gf. She's not that pretty compared to how they described her. She's alright I guess. I got to finally print my polaroids! They look so fucking pretty! I can't wait to print my second batch. :]

I got to buy my tennis racket as well, and some tennis shorts. Most of the day we just bummed. I was pretty much half asleep, half awake. Caffeine was my only fuel. It was almost 8, and we headed out to Greenbelt to watch this tagalog horror movie. We kind of owned the cinema theatre, so I just stretched my legs there and laid down on the seats. It felt awesome, haha. Turns out, the movie was fucking GAY. Well, I expected it to be gay anyway, it's a tagalog film. It didn't even scare the balls out of me. I SWEAR. This movie is lamer than black sheep!

Oh and I got text zhiela before she left for the US. Lucky bitch also gets to go to Mexico! She better get me a band shirt alright. I can't wait for Fontana, Badminton, EK and the Sleepover this May. I'm stoked like fuck! That plus all the other events lined up! She better get her ass back in here ASAP. I miss her already.

And then today. I just came back from school. I finally got to enroll for Tennis lessons. I missed the first lesson today, since it was from 8-10 am. I got to school around 10 something already. So to make up for that, I'll be having my first tennis lesson tomorrow. I AM SO STOKED. FUCK YA!!! I know I'd probably be fucking sore tomorrow but whatever, I'm stoked! I'll be having tennis thrice a week: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 8 to 10 am. I LOVE my schedule. It's just like how I planned it to be. I'll be having only 8 sessions so I'd finish my tennis at the end of April. I've yet do decide if I am going to take second batch this may. I also got to talk to my coach today, coach Paulie [?] and he is SO NICE! I don't think he'd give me hell for tennis.

And yes, I did get my report card. THE HELL. I didn't get an F! THAT IS SO GAY. : I only got a C! And wow, they actually released my card! And my mom didn't even know about the major BR. Haha. And WTF, my grade actually got higher. Like 81.9. WTF. Well, at least I passed. My mom said though that that's not enough for me to get into Ateneo.

That kind of crushed me because I really want to be in Ateneo for college. Me, Nichie and Zhiela had it all planned out already. I can't imagine myself in any other schools besides Ateneo. Fuck, I don't even know what course I'm taking! All I know is, I want to study at Ateneo with both of my best friends. I mean, i just KNOW both of them would pass because they are both so fucking smart. Nichie's in pilot, Zhiela's in the top 10, and Me? I'm a fucking noob. I'm a fucking FAILURE.

Sigh. I better make up for it Junior Year and Senior Year. I hope I have Zhiela and Nichie as my classmates so they could help me out. I NEED to get into Ateneo with them. Whatever it takes.

easter sunday

I just realized that...
It's Easter Sunday already.
HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY EVERYONE!

And today is also Zhiela's leave to the US. :[
I will REALLY, REALLY, REALLY miss her. Like, alot. She will be there for a month, and it sucks! My family and I were supposed to go there but...UGGHH. Long story. Got pretty fucked up. We were planning to meet up with each other at California. :(
But anyways, I hope she enjoys her trip. And i'm REALLYREALLYREALLY hoping she takes home a band shirt for me. I hope she won't forget that, haha.

I just woke up awhile ago. Like 11 pm. That's like the latest time I woke up. Damn, my sleeping habits are so fucked up, I need to get back on track.
I've decided to just ditch the dancing lessons and just take tennis. I dunno, I just somehow lost the mood. I'm pretty stoked about tennis though. I'll be enrolling this monday.

And I don't even want to think about: my Major BR, F in conduct, Failing marks, Report Card, Incomplete Requirements, Unreleased card, Possiblilty of a summer class.
Whatever goes this Monday, i don't care anymore.

Damn it. I really need to bathe myself in sunlight as much as possible. It's depressing being in your house 24/7. Kind of like house prison. I need to feel the warmth of the sun, feel the summer vibes and all. Sigh.

If only we could go out of town, out of the country even just OUT OF THE HOUSE, ya know?
I am sick of going online everyday. I mean, I do love the computer, very much. But it's summer for godssakes, need to get my butt off the net and just start living, ya know? I don't want to be around the computer for the rest of my life.

summer plans/lessons.

So I FINALLY had the chance to talk to Nichie awhile ago.

It was funny actually. I was still up around 9 am and then I decided to call her through my cellphone, and I was like, GO ONLINE!!! And she sounded like she just woke up. (Probably by my call, HAHA!) So we both agreed on chatting later on at night. Good thing I woke up, went online, got to talk to her for a bit. She decided to call me on the phone instead.

SOOOOOO. She's not taking Trumpets with me. :(
She would love to, it's just that her parents are against it. DAANG IT. So ya, i'm still thinking if I should still enroll for street dance this monday. We've both agreed on taking badminton lessons, but it's still unsure. I hope it pushes through. She's also interested in Tennis, and we can enroll for the second batch which starts next month. Idk, everything's so fucked, haha. =))).

I'm also stoked for the whole Enchanted Kingdom + Sleepover at Nichie's house thing, May 15-16. IT BETTER HAPPEN!!!! I also hope I can hang with her cousin from the US, we'll be touring her and bonding with her and all. xD. WHOOOO.

Damn, i can sense lots of plans ahead. :>
Summer should be productive hells yeah!

Whatever happens, happens.

And I've nothing much to talk about really. So ya, imma go end this blog post.

...

Okay so i've FINALLY made up my mind.
I've been so ASDFGHJKL these past few days just because I've been stressing on what the hell I'm supposed to take this summer. Now I FINALLY have it all fixed.

I WILL take street dancing at trumpets AND tennis lessons at school.
Fuck ya, imma be so damn productive this summer!
And if my mom asks me to just pick one, TENNIS will be my PRIORITY.
Because dancing at Trumpets costs alot. =)).

SO YA. Glad i got that over with, glad i got all of that figured out.
So, I SHALL NOT STRESS. Be more chill and laidback this summer.
Go with the flow. Let things happen.
Whatever will be, will be.

summer lessons.

My head is hurting like hell right now.
I don't feel so well, ugh.

Anyways, I haven't realized it's already Thursday.
I've done completely nothing but bum around this whole week.

Okay ohmygod, I just found out I can still enroll at Trumpets.
I have until April 14/18. I don't know if I should though.
I mean, originally my plan was to take street dancing lessons there with Nichie, but she wasn't allowed. We decided on Repertory Musical Theatre but the schedule was too tight. So i'm left with one option: Take musical theatre AGAIN at Trumpets with Nichie.

Eh. Idk. I'm not into Musical Theatre that much, not after last summer. It was hell, yo.
So idk. I mean, I want this summer to be productive but Musical Theatre? ASDFGHJKL not happening! I'm thinking of taking Street Dance lessons there by myself, but ehhh.
Not that i'm afraid of being alone, I just have to think of another excuse to get away from the recital. I DON'T want to perform infront of people, especially my mom. I got away with it last summer, I'm not so sure about this year. :/

Fuck.
This is it, either I go for Trumpets or not.
Shiiiittt.

GODDAMN IT, I NEEDNEEDNEED to talk to Nichie before Holy Week is over. I HAVE TO.
I can't decide on a workshop! Fuck, if there's like a camp, I WOULD SO JOIN IT. Tangina, kahit Camp Rock pa yan! LOLOL =)))))

Agghhh. I can't wait for it to be Monday already. I want to enroll for Badminton lessons. I want to enroll for Street Dance Lessons. I want to enroll for Tennis lessons. ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOP!!

POTAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Okay, so i'm seriously considering Street Dance. It's only twice a week! That's enough. Buuuttt. Idkkk. I'm worrying about the recital shit. NO WAY IN HELL will my mom see me dance. HELLS NO. Fuck no! Better come up with a plan to ditch the recital thing.
...Or maybe I should perform. GAH. IDK.

Just finished talking to Eliza. She's taking the Milo Sports Clinic thingy at Bonifacio, at Zhiela's military village place. Dude, Zhiela lives there, I can just visit her after my lessons, FTW. Buuuttt. I want to take Soccer but I have no soccer shoes. Sides, soccer was a grade school thing. Haven't played it for ages. Beh.

And tennis? Idk. I don't have an effing racket, and CSA won't open til' Monday, April 13, the day tennis classes start. Bianca says she's going to ask her coach for me. Idk if i still should...It's either I take the second batch lessons next month, or I don't take it AT ALL. For Badminton, there are like 2 badminton courts near our place, I've yet to inquire if they're offering lessons.

I don't know.
All i know is, I NEED TO HAVE A PRODUCTIVE SUMMER.
I hope I get this shit figured out before it's too late.

dreamworld

I wish for my own bedroom, I wish for my own little corner in the world. My own little corner where I can fully express myself, where I can shut everyone away, where I can have my own little world.

I would have my own SLR and a lomo camera so I can take lovely shots that will be put up on my wall. I would flood my wall with pictures, polaroids, posters, quotations, random stuff, inspirational things and such. A corkboard would be fine too.

I would have iPod speakers and I would blast my music 24/7, I would dance to my music in my own little room. I would have like a gazillion CDs lying on the floor, or compiled in one box, just like my time capsule and memorabilias. I would have my own Mac and I would photobooth like hell and I can go online all the time, without restrictions. I can finally put stat messages like: Showering/Asleep and such, knowing that no one else would use my macbook. I will also have this hugeass mirror, so that I can get vain, and I can check on myself from time to time. I will have my own bookshelf, it will be filled with my mangas and stacks of books and my journals as well.

I would have my very own closet, where I would fill it with random unique clothes I can mix and match to come up with a great outfit worthy for lookbook. I will have my own little TV, and I would have stacks of DVDs that I can marathon on anytime. I will also have my own telephone, I can call up anyone I want without anyone interrupting me. I will have my guitar lying in one corner, my piano in another corner, and my violin at one side. I will have fucking rockband/guitar hero, a Wii and any other gaming things that can entertain me when i'm bored.

I might even have my own veranda, a place where I can chill at night and just gaze at the stars. I would have a window overlooking a really great view, A view I would never get sick of, A beautiful view that can calm me. I would have a messy room, but who cares. Everything has its' own details, everything is colorful, ALIVE. I will create my own little happy world in that room of mine.

I know I dream too much but it's not too bad, isn't it? To wish for a little. To dream a little. But seeing that Reality doesn't see it that way, I might as well just live with what I have, and see what I can do about it.

[Currently feeling: Inspired, Artistic, Indie-ish, Hippie-ish. ]

Summer things to do:
>READ MORE. Improve vocabulary like HELL YEAH.
> Take shots, polarize/photoshop them, print them afterwards.

this.

This is why I hate summer.
Idle thoughts entertain you, make you doubt things and it gives you some srs mindfuck.

Right now i feel supremely shitty.
Plus, i look super shitty.

Fuck. :/

I gained 2 motherfucking pounds. I bet i'm near to gaining 3, ugh. Gaining back all the weight i lost, fuck. that's not good.
I am having a fucking breakout, there are 385791751 zits on my face.
I have BAAAADDD complexion. Whatever happened to the glow on my face?
I have wounds all over my fucking body and I hate it. I used to be butt clean now I'm all fucking tainted, goddamn it. SO MUCH for trying.
I have rashes, sunuvabitch. SO MUCH for trying. I HATE IT! :(
I oversleep, uggghhh.
I am sooooo moody/eh/pissed/annoyed. Fuck, i'm PMS-ing.
I am hatin'.

See. Summer. Is. Baaadddd.
It makes you realize how shitty your life is.
It makes you think just a little bit too much.
It eats you up alive.

I'd love to distract myself, do countless things but it's just not happening. FML.
Screw it.

But you know what?
I'm still fighting.

I still have 2 months, bitches.
We'll see.

OH FUCK THIS.
I FEEL HORRIBLE!
:/

>>EDIT>>

I don't feel so horrible anymore.
Oh how I miss bloghopping. :]
I feel better now actually.
I've got the good vibes back.
I am great.
I am alive.

I will make the most out of this summer, whatever it takes.
I don't care, I will TRY at least.

...

I've met people from all walks of life today.
Thanks, Omegle.
Well it was fun while it lasted. It was like weird awkward shit, striking up a conversation with some random stranger from half across the globe.
I've met people from the US, from finland, canada, louisiana, iowa, new york, london, uk and all that.
So random. So far I've only had 2 decent conversations. The rest were sabaw. =)))).
One was this college guy and another one was a mcfly fan. Those two were probably the only people i've had a decent and quite long chat with.
Omegle's fun, i guess. It's what bored people like me do.
It's for those people who wants to talk to strangers since people on YM are so ASDFGHJKL.
Yeah, pretty much. I don't go online anymore because the people online are so...yeah.
It's what lonely people do. Talk to random strangers.
Okay. Bye.

SABAW.

Just finished talking to Darren. I miss my confidante so fucking much. :(
But heee. Glad I talked to him tonight.
He left me with alot of thoughts alright.

I was pissed the whole day. (Well actually I think I've been Eh/Pissed/Moody/Annoyed these past few days/weeks) and right now I'm feeling weird.
This is really confusing.
Emotions are so confusing.

Look at our sabaw conversation:

Me: dude im so confused, how would you know its love? because upto now im still hung up on lindt. fuck :(
Him: really?
Me: ya dude, it sucks omg :((
Him: it's love when it doesn't matter if you get hurt caring for the person or when caring for the person is the most important thing to you. even at any costs.
Me: dont you think its stupid, me still hung up on him
Him: no it's not.
Me: even when hes away? i mean its POINTLESS
Him: it's not. i bet you're just regretting what could've been but wasn't
Me: FUCK YA OMG DARREN >:D< hahahaha SABAWWW =))
Him :)) sabaw to the max.
Me: super hahahaha eeehhh idk like when hes away i dont think of him much but whenever we talk it all goes back and after a while it fades its like on and off gaahhh so confuzzing D:
Him: you just enjoy being with the person, and maybe you just miss hanging out with him sometimes. you want to be the good ol friends you were before but you guys hardly talk?
Me: hmmm partly... but for some reason i miss the way he makes me feel because hes the only guy who put butterflies in my tummy :(( fuck :((
Him: :/ well don't close your eyes in on him there are more people around you.
Me: but ugghh im still hung up on lindt
Him: that's if you keep telling yourself that. think about this ara "who are you happiest the most with" averagely not literally the most.
Me: my friends does that count? haha
Him: yes. it does.
Me: so what does that mean?
Him: then that means there's no reason to be sad. :) cuz friends are always there. and maybe liking guys is just an icing on the cake :)
Me: i havent had a crush for a year!!! MORE THAN AN EFFING YEAR!!!
Him: it's not a prerequisite
Me: its so sad you know :((:((
Him: yeah, but maybe you need closure with the dude.
Me: ya i LOVE my friends they make me forget about guys and make me enjoy being single but sometimes i cant help but want a guy you know even if its just a shallow crush
Him: that's natural :)) i do too, ya know.
Me: hahahaha masyado kasi tayong hopeless romantics eh =)) SABAWWWW
Him: :)) it's fun being in a relationship but ther'es to many painful experiences
Me: Ive never been in one
Him: you have been in one
Me: WHAT REALLY WHEN D:
Him: even if it was one sided. :]
Me: aw
Him: it was love nonetheless to care for a person :)

Sigh. Nights like these I wish I could talk to Neko. Darren left too early. :/

you can ride to the top but you can't ride on my cock

You know what?
Fuck life.
Fuck MY life.
Living is a bitch.

McAssholes, ugh.
I just hate it when people are being RUDE ya know.

So today we went to school to enroll for Tennis but it was closed so ya. No tennis for me. I'm thinking of ditching tennis and taking badminton lessons instead. I'll inquire probably after holy week. I think it's actually better to take badminton since I've had a past in the sport (not that I was pro or something, but i really did enjoy playing it alot when I was a kiddo) and another good thing is that it's near our house. I could just take a 10 minute walk there, and I even burn calories in the process. It's like a workout. Ya, haha.

Damn and did I tell you how hooked I am to Cobra Starship's Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous? It's genius. I'm stoked for their new album. And ya, the title of this post is taken from this song. Haha. Yes, Gabe Saporta is awesome like that, talking about cocks. =)))).

Oh I got to eat The White Hat's italian yogurt today. Mmmmm. Sadly didn't get to buy yogurt from the supermarket though. Suck. :( And I cut my hair today. Ya, haha. I was so bored with my hair, i kind of trimmed it a bit. There's not much difference actually. Just layered it a bit, and got some of my curls back. I can't wait for it to be like this.

Aaaannddd. Shiaatt. I really want to take Trumpets again, but it's too late. I reallyreallyreally want to take dancing lessons, FO SRS. Right now I don't even care if nichie isn't taking lessons with me. I don't give a fuck, I just want to fucking dance. But ya, it's too late. T_T

I'm still fighting, bitches.
HUZZAH. \:D/

>>EDIT>>

I was so bored awhile ago when I was texting Zhiela so I decided to make her a video out of pure boredom. HAHA! It's like those videos you post on people's walls on facebook only you send it through your phone. Sucked though, It took too long to send. Same with my video for nichie. So I decided to send Zhiela a picture instead with me giving her the finger (HAHAHA!) but then it wouldn't send too. Fuck. :(

So fuck it, I just called her. I called her around thrice I think and It was so funny. I was laughing my ass off! Kind of like prank calling in a way. xD. She was with her family and HAHAHAHA I was such a fucker, I screamed into her phone randomly "FUCK YOU!!!" then I called off.

Hahahahaha funny funny shit. =))=))=)). I hope her family heard that, it would be fucking laughtrip. =))=))=)). Then I called her again and screamed: "I'M SO BORED!!!" hahaha then I called it off again. =))=)). And then 3rd time, I wanted to hear her talk, so I was like, "Hello?" and it took her a while to reply. She was like, "SHUT. UP." And OMG HAHAHAHA that was too fucking funny because you can hear her whisper and you can just imagine the look on her face, and I could hear her mom in the background. HAHAHAHAHAA =))=))=))).

Fuck man, that was funny. Too funny. =))=)). Like, she was like Fuck you to me after in text. Hahaha I should do that again sometime. :>:>

....And. Forget about it. :p

movie + mcdo + plans

Currently Eating: 1 pc. Chicken Mcdo, Regular French Fries.
Currently Watching: Footloose.

My god did I miss this!
Movie Marathon Night. :)
It's nice to stay late and munch on some fast food while watching a movie.
It's my 2nd time to order today, haha.
I can't believe I even bought a burger for my brother!
I NEVER treat him.
GAH. T_T

I woke up 8 pm and I'd probably stay up til later, when I enroll for tennis lessons at school.
I feel anxious about it, actually. My mom might get my card since we're there already.
And she'd see all my failing marks and that Big bloody fat F.
Hell she might even meet my adviser and my adviser might talk to her!
Aand ASDFGHJKL she's going to know about my MAJOR BEHAVIORAL REPORT and i'm batshit screwed because I haven't told her.
OH NO. That's not happening. Not under my watch!

Hell I even doubt they released my card because:
a) The HE Project conflict. I still haven't gotten my report card from 3rd qtr. because of that.
b) I failed Math/English/Science/EVERYTHING.
c) I'm bound to TAKE SUMMER CLASSES or REPEAT.
d) My card hasn't been released because of [Insert a reason here that displays how irresponsible i am]

Call me paranoid, but that's likely to happen.
Oh shit.

Well, whatever. I'm pretty chill right now. I don't want to stress about it.
All I want to get over with is the enrollment.
I. CAN'T. WAIT. TO. TAKE. TENNIS. LESSONS!
...and lose 10 pounds.
HAHA! I'm dead serious though. Probably after my month long tennis lessons I might take badminton lessons after. I really can't afford to gain back the weight I lost during tennis.

Random: I. AM. CRAVING. FOR. YOGURT.

...BADLY. I swear, I will get my hands on yogurt tomorrow. I don't think I'd survive Holy Week without any food in the house. I've got to have yogurt. GOT TO HAVE IT.

And I need to go buy a tennis racket already. I'm planning to take first batch. Lesson starts April 13. I'll be posting my schedule soon. I really hope there are still available slots tomorrow. If there aren't..there's always badminton lessons. HAHA! And I bet there are still some other places I can take tennis lessons at.

...Oh yeah. My brother was annoying me awhile ago about VTR's and such. I AM DESPERATE FOR MONEY. I have gone beyond my border, I WILL accept modeling for ads or whatever, just to get my hands on some cash. I'm itching to buy 2974120565134591745 things! But he's teasing me about this stupid agreement we had. Heck, he even recorded it on his phone and he was playing it awhile ago to shove it off my face. So okay, i DID say I will NEVER model/do a commercial but fuck it, i'm in crisis! And there aren't summer jobs available so where else to turn to? Besides I can earn BIG TIME cash baby. That's the good thing about modeling. Harhar.

....

Top 10 things to do before summer ends:

1) TAKE TENNIS. For once, I should stop being a couch potato and start doing some sports.
2) New Hairstyle. Like this. I hope I pull it off. Hee.
3) Sleep early, wake up early. GET RID OF INSOMNIA.
4) Have more power packed days.
5) BE AN ENERGY ADDICT!
6) Shed off 10 pounds. DEAD SERIOUS. I want my old body back. Be fit and healthy. Detox Diet, here I go.
7) Read at least 3 books.
8) New clothes. Better have a new wardrobe. New style.
9) Organize my Itunes, complete with Album artwork and such. Yes, I'm OCD that way.
10) Accomplish my 30 themes @ my deviantart.

...And there's still 569729841695105 things I still HAVE to do this summer.
And let me get this over with: Summer begins after this week. (Holy week)
April 13 onwards, I shall ACTIVATE/UPGRADE. xD.

I will bum this whole week since I have no plans. I'll be at home and be a complete couch potato. I shall begin my mission next week. I'm all geared up. I'll make a power pack playlist soon, haha.

HUZZAH! xD.

remembering 6th/7th grade

Dude.
I am TOTALLY LAUGHING at my Grade School self right now.
Everything's just so funny right now!

Nostalgia Tripping again. Only this time it's my 6th/7th grade days. DAAANNGG!
You have noooo idea how amused I am right now.
I feel like it's been 3409681025810 years!
Shit, I feel so fucken old!

I looked back at my Xanga, and OHMYGOD! I just started remembering all those times. HAHA!
Dude it's like Me and Zhiela before the Debut part 2. Minus zhiela though.
Heh, I'm totally laughing. I am so amused! Time is so fucking fast!

I would be totally laughing at my HS self once I get to college, i swear.
You know what, Me, Zhiela and Nichie BETTER go nostalgia tripping like this before we graduate for college. It will be EPIC LULZ! =))).
I CAN'T WAIT!
We'd all totally be laughing at our lame old selves!

I can't explain myself right now. This feeling is MORE than nostalgia, like that time at zhiela's house last week. The feeling is like ASDFGHJKL!

Funny crap, i swear to God.
Now i remember those days. Like those memories were shaken out of the deep corners of my mind. Memories I haven't run through for years now. And it feels so damn good remembering them. :)

Those golden days of glory, where we laughed and smiled genuinely, when we were so innocent and everything was just pure bliss. HS tainted it though, it made me grow up and realize so much things, my hormones started acting up.

Pre-teen years were pretty fucking golden.

I'm glad I didn't mature fast. I am proud to be immature. I will always be a kid at heart. Always. :]

I was actually listening to my jams those days. Heck, I even listened to OPM! Yes, i listened to OPM alot before, idk what happened. And I even surfed through youtube to watch my childhood shows! Goooddd.

I miss my childhood.
So flippin' much.
I miss my 7th grade days.

I miss having Nichie as my classmate so flippin' much! It was SO MUCH FUN having her as my classmate, I swear to God! She was like my bestest friend ever! We were sooooo random and we were into anime so much and ohmygod I MISS THOSE DAYS!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUU-
If she becomes my classmate this junior year, I WILL BE SO FUCKEN HAPPY. I reallyreallyreallyreally miss having her as a classmate, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Shit i miss those days so fucking bad! Remember those days when we were SO FUCKING RANDOM, remember salva's butt?! THE ART OF WALKING BUTTS?! HAHAHAHA!! Remember annoying the crap out of emo kid roland!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Remember the grad pic game!! Holy shit that was epic!!!! Remember a whole new world?! HAHAHAHAHA!!! God, TOO MUCH memories with her!!!! Ugh, i swear, i miss her bad! We would laugh like hell whenever we were together and we were both so fucken crazy and god, those times were the best!!!!!

I miss being classmates with Zhiela! OHMYGOD 7TH GRADE! We got so fucken senti over the batch party, which was the reason we got so close. Remember when we stargazed right after the batch party, took of our heels at the flagpole place and just talked our hearts out? Fuck i miss that! Those days when we would obssess over Secret Garden, especially Colin?! OHMYGOD ZHIELAAAA!!!! GAAAHHHH!!! Fuck, i would kill for you to be my classmate this year!!!

Ugh, if I still had my 7th grade pictures i would fucking spam flood this post with them!
I just got reminded why I totally loved 7th grade.
I swear I will open our old busted computer and save all the memories
FUCK YA!!!!

AND CRAP IM JUST TOO INCOHERENT OKAY
CANT.PUT.IT.INTO.WORDS.
Sorry if this post is too SABAAAWWWW hahahaha. =))))).

AND sefgneotu3w095812058196tuehksnhgqe0958u231045u12!!!!!!!!!!
TOO. MANY. MEMORIES. ARE. RESURFACING.
CANT. TAKEEEEE~
Grade School was fucking awesome.
7TH GRADE WAS EPIC.
HELL YES.
And hey, I was actually pretty fucken awesome during gradeschool! :p CHYEAH!!!! XD
My summer posts were entertaining too, haha! Srsly tho =))))
I remember those EMO shit songs I made, and gaahh those graphics quotes and everything else
asfhasgljawgwopyghwaoheajhpaweghjawithaw!!!!

Just read the damn blog. =))))).
I feel like I just rode a time machine or something.
BETTER fucking make a time capsule.
FUCK YAAAAA
HAAA no wonder I missed GS so much when I became HS!

Sucked though, I didn't talk much about Neko, Ayush, or Jessica
they also played major roles during my gradeschool years
of course my 7th grade barkada too haha funny now that were not that close or anything, its just me, nichie and zhiela who have stood together all these years
OKAY TOO SABAW RIGHT NOW SORRY

random saturday.

Beh. Just another random saturday.
With Denise, Andy and Bianca.

Mostly just bummed around Andy's house. Got some Ice Cream @ Rockwell, I gots butterscotch! Woots. And they were making fun of my "pekpek shorts" Haha fuck you, you're just jealous of my sexy hairless legs. :> :> =))).

Mmmm. What else. Looked around shops. Fuck, I want to buy in Topshop! It was sale! D: And mmm. Yess. Random shit in her room. It was so awesome playing with the SLR. That was like my 4th time to touch one. It's golden. I can't wait to get mine. CAN'T. WAIT. Eh, damn it, I was supposed to have photography lessons this summer. Oh daaanngg. Andy's mac is fuuunnn. Like photobooth, lol. =))). We got so retarded with the roller coaster video, lol. And got so vain with the photoshit. =)).

Then WTF Denise left so fucking early, like 4-ish. So anyways. We got so tamad na to play dress up and have a photoshoot so we just watched Bridal Wars nalang. AND OHMYGOD ANDY AND BIANCA RAPED ME IN THE BED! D: Hahahaha. Seriously. I was freaking out and screaming and shit. =))=))=)).

Aaannd. We were just pigging out and binging like hell. ohmygod, haha. =)))). Then we got so hungry we went back to Rockwell to get some food. Ate @ Mcdo. Yaaa. Andy was freaking out over her sexy/horny texts to cuenca. HAHA! Roamed around, window shopped. Got myself a pink headband, ftw. Then dropped off Bianca, and then went back to Andy's house.

It was so funny. =))). We were like playing with her Mac again. Watched her videos with her sisters. I kept on laughing at her face there, it makes the weirdest faces ever =))). We were so bored we recorded this retarded roller coaster video of us. =))). Heh, that's not even worse! We like had the heaven background and she turned on her speakers and we danced to Yelle's A Cause Des Garcons. Pucha laughtrip. We just started partying in her bedroom, and the Mac was recording it all. We both tried to dance tecktonik lol! It was so funny. And heh, I did kind of pull off the tecktonik dance actually. Look so awesome when i'm partying/dancing. :>:> Then ha, in the middle of our video recording/dancing/partying/tecktonik-ing/retardedness, her yaya butts in to tell me that I have to go home na. Ohdaaanngg. Haha! That was fun though. =))).

Then on the way home, I tell my mom that I wanted to take Tennis lessons and she was actually glad about it. She says I better take those lessons, rather than bumming with the computer the whole day. YAY. She's okay with buying me the racket just as long as I get my butt off the computer chair. =)). Yesss. Can't wait to take Tennis at school in our newly renovated gym. Woots. \:D/.

fridayyy. cards D:

I've been feeling "Eh" lately.

I don't know what's up with me.

Fuck whatever triggered it, ugh.

Anyways, today is Friday and I'm supposed to get my report card but fuck that, I'd be screwed if I did. It can wait, haha. :)).

Sooo. Instead I met up with Denise and we both bummed around and hung out @ Market Market!/Serendra/High Street. Bought DVDs and such, walked, talked and yeah. God there were so many JJ's there, it was SRSLY disturbing. :. And my gad, my tummy was such an effer. It was rumbling the whole time, I needed gatorade to stop it.

LOOKBOOK PLZ.

So anyways. Kevin came around 4, and I was eating the hungarian sausage sandwich @ starbucks that time since I was starving already. So since he couldn't find Miggy @ Fully Booked, he decided to just chill with us @ starbucks. So much randominity, haha. Talked about Denise' cousin, the camp thingo, POOPOO! (HAHAHAHA), kevin and all his funny terms, partying, drinking, anime, him going to new zealand for 10 days (LUCKY ASS!), sheep keychains/milk FTW, and all that crap. It was funny. =)).

Afterwards headed out to look for Miggy, walked around, kept going back and fort to FB, but we still couldn't find the dude. So ya, pretty much just bummed around, talked about the most random stuff. Funny shit, haha.

And then lol, at one point we found Miggy alone, sitting outside FB and it was so funny. =))). We were hiding from him and we were even able to take shots of him being emo, lol. Then ya, hung with the three of them @ A different bookstore/starbucks since denise was hungry. Kevin made her libre the sandwich thingy. Beh. Haha. Bummed around. I like that place. It's a chill spot. Yesss. Talked more about random stuff then Miggy had to go na, lol.

Afterwards talked more with Kevin and Denise and then ya, went home. Whooo. Pinky promise that Kevin will visit CSA one of these days. It will be interesting and funny. :>. We shall also crash one of his soirees. OHYES. =))). I need a tipsy dancing kevin saying poopoo recorded on video and I shall post it on his facebook as his scandal. =)))). And lol, imma start flooding his multiply/facebook now with poopoo. It's rly funny shit. =)).

So ya, that's today.

Feel so Eh today. Like ASDFGHJKL;

I'm so labo.

Dude my playlist is so fucked up.
Baaahhh.
:/

Anyhoo, tomorrow shall be random fun.

AI 8 post. fangirlism ahead.

Dude I am officially falling for Kris Allen.

He is my American Idol.

<3.

Remember last summer when I was an avid watcher of AI? I was all over David Archuleta that time, remember? Haha! It's so weird because this year I don't watch AI anymore. Like ever since January I lost interest in this season, I only got far to watching probably the 3rd audition episode since I found audition episodes a lot of fun, haha.

I knew about Adam Lambert way before AI aired since there were rumors circulating about him already. He was known to be this Joe Jonas looking dude that was rumored to make it to the top 50. And when I saw him audition, I immediately knew he'd make it to the top 10 of AI. You can say I was partly rooting for him, you can see the kid has talent and his voice range can fuck.

And then a day ago, my mom was watching AI. I saw Adam Lambert perform Play that Funky Music and he obviously got all the honeys in the studio excited. Haha. But what I didn't expect was Kris Allen. He performed Ain't No Sunshine and the moment I saw him I was just like....

WOW. O_O.

I loved his performance! I can't believe I didn't know about him! I fell inlove with him right after, HAHA! =))). So now I shall start watching AI because Kris is there. Wheee. xD. He is a sexy beast LOLOL! Dude I LOVE his voice. For some reason Kris' voice stands out the most to me. Sure Adam Lambert is blesssed with that killer voice range but jesus, KRIS ALLEN'S VOICE IS SHMEXY! He has this charm that attracts you, you know? And for some weird reason I can't seem to fall inlove with Adam. I think it's because he's gay. :/ HAHA!

Oh yeah, I was partly rooting for Danny Gokey too. I saw him audition and I liked him, that and the tragic thing that happened to his wife which made me pity him. Oh and I also liked Jason Castro's brother, Michael. He got me with his Gavin De Graw's I'm In Love with a Girl audition. He didn't make it, sadly. :/ Hah, kind of like me with Josiah Leming, he didn't make it too last season. So my Top 3 is Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. :]

And I hope I get to watch the David Archuleta and Cook concert at MOA this May 16. xD.

Okay, too much AI talk and fangirlism here. I'm off. Going on an AI downloading frenzy! Haha!

--EDIT--

OHFUCK. I JUST REMEMBERED.

REPORT CARD DISTRIBUTION TOMORROW.

PUCHAAAAA! D:

Dude. I am SO.EFFING.SCREWED.

My mom doesn't know about it. I have no plans on telling her. Shiiitt.

If she finds out about my Major Behavioral Report and my F in conduct,

I AM BATSHIT SCREWED.

And I haven't even solved that blasted HE project conflict thing!

Dude, I doubt i'm even cleared! Stupid clearance form!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

And my grades. I AM NERVOUS. Because we all know that i'm failing MASSIVELY. Like fuck, i don't know what my 3rd qtr grades were and i'm sure as hell I failed this quarter. ARGH.

Shit. My mom shouldn't know about my report card. HELLS NO.

My summer is officially doomed once she finds out.

I am fucked, I tell you!

And. The Ozine Cosplay Convention shit is cancelled. Fuck. :/ I WANT TO GO OUT!!!
Well actually I am, lol. Tomorrow I shall be with Denise and we will have a date at High Street/Market Market. I'm not so sure if kevin/miggy's going since she's planning to invite them. Eh whatever. And then saturday, I shall be with Andy, Bianca and Denise at Rockwell/Glorietta/Andy's house/Wherever. xD. It shall be randomly fun. xD.

And I still want to take tennis, fuck. : ANDY, BIANCA, TAKE ME WITH YOU!!! xD.

fail day.

Today is April Fools Day and I spent the whole day sleeping. Either that, or I was doing the ff:

>Installed Skype.
>Unistalled Skype.
>Installed Windows Live.
>Uninstalled Windows Live.
>Installed Internet Explorer 8.
>Didn't uninstall Internet Explorer 8 since it proved to be useful.
>Installed Itunes 8 + Quicktime.
>Tried to make my Laptop look like Windows Vista but FAILED anyway.
>Changed my Twitter background into a sassy one.
>Got my Myspace a cute layout.
>Changed my Tumblr theme yet again.
>Got Taylor Swift's "Love Story" stuck in my head.
>Installed Zango.
>Uninstalled Zango.
>Challenged myself to 30 themes @ my deviantart.
>Changed our wallpaper into a beach themed one so i could somewhat feel the summer vibes even if i'm in the net all day.
>Changed the windows skin theme into a gray classic one since i'm sick and tired of the same old damn skin.
>Tried installing Movie Maker 3 and other good stuff that just wasn't meant for this laptop. FAIL. :(
>Actually watched AI. Adam Lambert is unbelievable. His voice range can fuck! I liked that Kris Allen guy though.
>Watched Korean TV and it was already midnight. Heh, it was funny. =))).
>Watched Indian TV for god sakes and saw this guy who looked like a replica of Pete Wentz FTW.
>Did Disk Defragmenter around twice or thrice.
>Did disk cleanup and heh, sure did clean up alot of space!
>Tried composing a song but FAILED anyway.
>Missed you.

....Heh, i didn't even get to pull off pranks today. Well i did on zhiela though, lol. Texted her 3AM told her our trip to america was on. Got her, lol.

Just passing the time. I am so bored I could shit rainbows, ponies and unicorns right now.
I so don't have a life. You know I came across this depressing thought awhile ago while I was scanning through Jon Gordon's Energy Addict: I WILL WASTE THESE 2 MONTHS OF SUMMER. God. If only it could be so fucken productive you know? I want to enroll at workshops, take lessons and summer jobs, hang out with my friends, explore life outside these flippin' doors but it's just not happening, ugh. What a waste. T_T

Hmm. I'm sort of thinking if my Tumblr should be more of a reblog/graphic kind of blog more than a personal one. Or maybe i can have it ala havent-got-a-prayer style wherein I pretty much spam people's inboxes with my random messed up shit. Thinking of making another tumblelog instead, a more personal one. Oh idk. Blah.

~Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone~

Now i'm off to...
>Watching Slumdog Millionaire.
>Dozing off, hoping for a nice dream to entertain my 12 hours of slumber, afterwards wake up 5pm.
>Same usual shit. Wired 12 hours straight, there's no stopping me.
>Eat, Sleep, Repeat.
>Finally friday, Ozine Convention thingyyy at Megamall. YAY.