Honestly can't wait for the day the tables turn and I get to say look who's crying now?

One day, Karma will bite you in the ass, hard.

And you'll be sorry.

Really sorry.

Bitch.

On disturbing memories:

We are human.

We screw up.

We fuck up.

We make mistakes.

We do things we'll regret.

To err is to be human.

So everytime a disturbing memory resurfaces and I cringe and flinch at everything I've done in the past, I just have to simply forgive myself, accept and move on.

I'm not alone in this.

For one, I can say that it was okay to do such because it was with my first boyfriend. He was someone special, and he was not just some random hookup. So I applaud myself for that.

Second, BLAME THE TEENAGE HORMONES. Pretty sure our parents and millions of other teenage kids have gone through this... and have pretty much gone farther than I have.

Thank God we did not push further on, oh lord, our dignity.

It's okay. Teenagers are crazy. We are reckless. We do crazy, stupid shit. We get horny. We fuck around. We're wired this way. We're growing up, experiencing things for the first time, we're young and curious.

But now I know better.

I learned.

And that's what matters.

:)

Also, forget the people who may noticed/witnessed you fooling around. They'll just think of you guys as 2 stupid teenagers who were young, naive and inlove. Forgive yourselves, AND MAKE SURE TO NEVER SEE THOSE PEOPLE, EVER. Your image is forever ruined loooooool.

Ah well. It could be worse. Thank God they weren't your parents.

Calm dooooooown! They'll probably just laugh about it and shrug it off.

There's no use in thinking about it now.

It's pointless.

Why do I allow myself to dwell on these unhealthy, negative and useless thoughts?

Forget them.

Forget everything.

It's a waste of time.

Keep moving.

Ignorance is bliss.

Just breathe.

Clear your mind.

Free yourself.

I don’t want to associate myself with these people anymore.

If they walk away, then I’ll let them be.

I just have to find people who will stick with me through everything.

I'm better off without them.

I’m done.

Some things just aren't meant to last you know?

When people grow, sometimes they don't grow together but instead.... they grow apart.

People change. Things never stay the same. Change is constant. It can either pull you together, or tear you apart.

I've realized that I can't hold on to someone and believe that they wouldn't change for me.

People suck. We are all full of shit.

Everything's a waste of time.

So much drama. So much bullshit. So much lies.

Nichie.

Me:

Hey Nichie! I didn't want to reply to your post on blogspot because it's kinda.. I dunno. Actually, I don't even know how you feel about me. Are we still friends? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Because honestly, the last time I checked we were okay. Are we? You just kinda stopped... talking. It's okay though if you're mad at me or something, I understand. I just sorta wish I knew what I did wrong. I really don't know wtf happened.

I know you probably don't consider me as a friend anymore or something, but I still really care about you. And eh, the blog post you wrote was just kinda depressing and all. Honestly, I don't know how it feels like to be in your place but I do know that it's painful. And Nichie, it really does hurt seeing you in pain because you deserve to be happy.

I wish I can do/say something to make you feel better but we all know that it's not going to change the situation you're in so I think that the best I can do is to show my concern and support for you. I'm not really hoping for a reply or anything, I just want you to know that I'm still here for you - no matter what.

I know I haven't apologized properly for being like the shittiest friend ever, but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. You may be miles away, but I still believe that you're one of the best friends I'd ever had. I'm really sorry for everything, Nichie. For screwing things between us. A part of me just wishes we can be friends again and talk and all you know? But maybe too much has changed. Eh. I'm sorry.

Anyways, enough about me!

I know it's difficult to stand on your own, but it gets better. It really does. You just got to have some faith you know? That one day things will turn up. It's ALWAYS hard in the beginning, but with each step that you take, I know that in time you'll be just fine. Time has a way of changing things you know? I believe in you, Nichie. You can do this. Hang in there. It just takes a little courage. I know that YOU have the power to change the way you live. I know that YOU are much stronger than you believe. YOU are capable of so many things.

Embrace change. After all, We are destined to move forward, to go about change. We are designed for change. I hope you find it in you to focus on learning how to be happy where you are and we'll be just there right beside you, cheering you on. I hope you learn how to be patient with yourself, to feel your feelings but to also let them go. Please learn to trust that God is in control and that in time, things will fall into place. Everything will be beautiful in its' own time. Have faith. Believe. Trust.

Always remember, this too shall pass.

NICHIE:

Ara,

You should know I can't trust you anymore. So here's my answer.

Yeah, we're still friends. We've made peace. We're cool, bro.

But I can't think of you like I used to. I'm going to tell you everything now. I used to think the world of you, but after what happened, I don't know anymore. It bothers me that you'd want people to say it straight if they have a problem with you when you didn't have the decency to do that to me.

In all honesty, I felt used and screwed over and I didn't want to have anything to do with someone who felt like it's so easy to just let me go. Loise felt the same way about me at one point but she talked to me about it and we're closer than ever. I know I changed but so did you and at the time, you refused to acknowledge it.

I really appreciate it though, that now you're making an effort but I wish you did back then. I always tried to stay on your good side because I always knew I never really was of any use to you. Even now I still have pangs of protectiveness that I have for my friends for you but I don't think any of my efforts would make a difference anymore. Maybe we can get better again someday. In time.

Thank you for your concern and your words but I don't need them. They're lovely words but I can't trust them. And at this point, I still feel like the only reason you're reaching out to me is because no one else is and that I'm the most likely to come back. We can still talk. We can comment on each other's posts.

Yes, we're still friends, but no, we're not close friends. Not anymore.

ME:

Thank you for telling me the truth. That's all I needed to hear.

I know a lot of things have changed over time, and that things will probably never be the same again but I'm glad we finally had closure. I know it's not going to be easy for me to make up for all I've done, but I'm glad I now know where I went wrong. And I understand that you can't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't blame you for feeling that way.

I'm sorry I never really explained why I suddenly got iffy with you and cut you out of my life. I know my sorry won't do anything now, and that's okay, I just wish you know how sorry I am. I had a lot of reasons, and basically the main reason why I walked away is because I felt like we were drifting apart, you know? I honestly didn't know what was going on with you, you never really opened up to me anymore. I didn't feel like your friend anymore. We were becoming too different and I started to pay attention to things that I disliked about you, which was really immature and insensitive of me. Sorry.

We've been friends for years and time really changed the both of us which only led us to… fall apart. And you know what? I'm stupid enough to let that happen. We both had our own faults as to why this friendship failed. You're not the only one who was hurt. But hey, I'm glad we're (sort of) okay-ish. We're cool, yeah.

I'm sorry I never gave you the chance to save our friendship. That time I was so convinced that we were never going to be friends again because you were really distant and almost a stranger to me. I figured, why bother staying? Why bother fighting for something that isn't even there anymore? I got tired. But now that I look back, I should have just been a real friend and just confronted you instead. I now realized that a true friend will always accept you and guide you to be better.

I'm kind of bummed though because only recently did we start talking again and now we're back to well, this. I honestly thought we'd do much better the second time around and that we were back to building the friendship we've lost, but I guess it doesn't really work that way.

Honestly, I'm still quite the Ara you know. I might have changed but I'm finding myself now. I lost myself, and in the process, I lost my only true friends and it's only now that I realized that.

I'm learning. I'm changing. I'm trying to be a better person now. I'm not reaching out to you because I fucked up with the rest, I'm reaching out because I'm now acknowledging what I've done wrong and that there's something wrong with me (which is what I'm trying to fix). And hey, I'm sorry it took me a long time to get here. I'm reaching out because I need to fix what I've screwed up. You deserve an apology and an explanation.

Thanks Denise. Thank you for teaching me this lesson.
And hey - I'm still here for you.

i hope i dont regret this.......

Hey you.

I watched Strangers Again the other day (dude watch i swear!!!!), and man it really hit me which is why I'm typing this message down. I hope I don't regret this Hahaha.

Anyway, this line really got me and I just wanted to share it with you. Hope it's not too awkward, lol.

"I think… that if life separates us and we end up on totally different places, i’ll always remember when our lives aligned for this period of time… and I’ll be thankful for that. And I hope that wherever you are that you’ll be thankful too. And that’s the best we can wish for…"

I just wanted to drop by to say that I am so thankful to have met you, Gab. I don't regret a second that we were together. You made me happier than I've ever been. You deserve to be happy, Gab. Thank you for loving me. I feel so lucky to have been loved by someone like you. Thank you so much, Gab, for everything.

There are so many things I have to say to you, so many things left unsaid, but maybe we can talk about them all when we're both ready someday. I also wish that maybe one day, we can still be friends. I still want to, and I know it's possible. I really can't wait for the day when we can be cool around each other, no tension/awkwardness whatsoever and we can just laugh about the good times, and be better friends than we were before. I'll look forward to that day.

But until then,

I really hope you're happy, Gab. Please know that I will always care for you, okay? You'll always be in my prayers. I only hope for the best for you. I really can't apologize enough for everything I've put you through, but in the end, I still do hope that you were thankful that we happened.

Look forward to college, you'll have so much fun and I'm sure you'll find your Autumn, and I'll be happy for you.

HIS REPLY:

Hey thanks for that . It means a hell of a lot to me. And im sorry i didnt say hi to you last friday or talk to you i guess i was and still am not used to situations like that. Seriously im like the most awkward person ever. But yea if i see you again ill say hi and maybe we could talk a bit. IF im brave enough. Haha. And those pictures suck. Cause i look like shit in pictures. Just saying. I hope you're doing well man. And i know you're having fun and you're happy so im happy too.

serena

i wish people believed in someone's power and ability to change.

the past doesn't matter anymore

the person who i was isn't who i am anymore

what matters is the person i am now, this person right infront of you

the person im trying to become

the person who is trying to be better each day

the person who is learning and changing with each day

i have learned from my mistakes

and i wont let my past define who i am anymore

i admit, i screwed up

and now i am ready to be new again

if people could only give me a chance.......

lol whatever

You’re seriously still following me? I thought you could take the hint— that I despise your guts. Didn’t you even think it was me who sent you those messages? Didn’t you think I was passive about this? Wow, you are dense. You were a friend to me and I thought you were pretty cool until you used up all your friends for your gain. Your new friends may think you’re soooooo saintly, don’t they. But they won’t know what’ll hit them. Sooner or later you’ll get tired of them as you got tired of us. And you barely even notice it. And you’ll be saying, “I haven’t even done anything wrong!!!! WAT!” And if my assumptions were wrong and you actually knew what was wrong with you,then I’d further assume that you are a conniving cheat.

It’s a cycle, my dear, ex-friend.

---

if i gave a fuck i'd reply but lol no, i wont even unfollow you bitch whatfuckingever :))

hay i dont even know what i did wrong to you man, did i even give you a reason to hate me? wish you could tell me but whatever also i got tamad to unfollow you lol thanks for reminding anyway....

also doesnt help that denise liked it oh wow

and i was planning to visit her in the airport tomorrow to say my goodbye and just finally fix things between us... wow people can be cruel

PS. Evil ex activated his facebook again. Goddamiiitttt. So angry. It was much more easier when he didn't have one. Bleh.

everybodys changing and i dont feel the same

feeling kind of glum tonight

found out that he deleted his facebook

meh i dont know it kinda made me sad for a bit

but then i think its for the best after all...

its easier this way

its better off this way

i guess it just kinda sucks thats all....

we're really strangers now

we've cut off each other from our lives

no form of communication at all

we're erasing each other

and im totally okay with that to be honest

its just sad, thats all

but i dont know, i still have hope that one day we'll be okay

and if not, then i guess it's for the best that we're both happy in our own separate ways

i have blocked him out of my life

and ive done the same to my "friends"

im all alone again and lost

im living a new life now

starting from scratch

i've left my past behind

but i know it will still haunt me from time to time

i've left everything that is familiar, everything i've considered home

im searching for new places and faces now, somewhere i can belong

i am a different person now

all this pain has changed me

and im trying to become a better person than i ever was

i am learning from my mistakes

i know i will be homesick from time to time

but this is just a phase

when i think about it, nothing really stays

this chapter in my life is done, and it is time for me to move on

goodbyes always suck, but new beginnings are exciting too after all

not all characters in my story were intended to stay, but i should look forward for the new characters coming along...

dan says....

well one

even if he did invite you, i doubt you would have gone

and two

youre way too good for that sorry ass shit boyfriend of yours

so correct me if im wrong but "backstabber" friends?

they were never friends if in the end they'd fuck you up like that

stupid bitches make me wanna kill someone

we got your back. your past mistakes don't matter to any of us, so you can go tell your haters that.

these days

-Ex has a happy crush on my gorgeous friend, Kar.

-Thanks to Jaime. I was supposed to meet him that day but you know, I'm nice. :)) I specifically told him not to make them meet! I knew this would happen!! Hahahaha. But eh whatever, its inevitable. :))

-Andy talked to evil ex without him knowing I was there reading the whole conversation. What a douche! :)) He's just like the others. 8-|

-"LOVE LOST, HAPPINESS FADED" Suck your fucking dick, asshole!!

-You don't miss me? K.

-My "friends" all hate me. Lots of backstabbing and hating on my formspring. Calm yo tits! Hahaha.

-So much hate they didn't even invite me to Denise's despedida but whatever, lol.

-Then I hear that my ex invites my "friends" aka people he's not even close with to hang out at his house this saturday. He invited everyone except for me (lol duh) I 'm sorry, I just found that so funny. My ex is actually trying to have a life without me? HAHAHAHA. Okay im so mean, lol. But I bet you it will be a FAIL. what fucking losers.

-Hung out with my ex's crush the other day. YES SO FUNNY AND IRONIC NOH. HAHAHAHA. Apparently he's been creeping her out. HAHAHA. you faaaaail.

-Hung out with her and felt AWESOME. Why? Because I'm so much better than her. ;) Goodluck nalang. HAHAHA. You just lost the best thing you've ever had, asshole. ;)

-Ex flirting with my friend on facebook for me to see? Desperate much! How low can you go?! =)) SHE DOESN'T EVEN RESPOND. HAHAHHAHAHA. YOU ARE FAIL!!!

-So much support and love. Gives me hope. :)

Wow, immature fucks. :))

I'm sorry but you guys have definitely reached a new low.

I've totally lost ALL my respect for you guys. =))

If anything, I think you guys have just lost your dignity. =))

Giving me the finger on roboto? Wow! How low will you guys go?!

From Dan

okay

honest opinion. Forget him, he's not worth your time. if he's going to make you palit, then why bother with this guy? and if he dumped you because of some stupid basis of you being such a tumblr whore, or being bossy, or god knows what then to hell with him

show him he's not your world Ara. don't let him know that he was important to you even if he is

BUT everyone's entitled to two days of grieving, so grieve.

my feel better one is that it's for the best. you already told yourself you moved on, so do what you said you've done.

but seriously take it easy

you're gonna laugh about it after a week, probably do some denial, then go on withdrawal, then suppression, then repression

but after that you'll be fine

if shit pops up, shit pops up!

but what do you do when it does? you flush it down.

just flush it down, fluush it

july 20

Hey ara. Im sorry ive been snobbing you. It was weird. But i did it for two reasons; 1. For me at least, people really need space after a breakup to get over each other and for things to be normal and friendly again. 2. I do still wanna be friends. I'd rather you think im a dick and chalk it all up to that then me being a nice guy and you not moving on. I still care bout you man. And one day we'll be able to hang out and maybe be even better friends than we were before. But it takes time and work. Also im personally not ready to be friendly again without awkwarding shit up. I need time too, we both do. And please dont kill yourself or smoke or smoke weed or drink too much. Take care of yourself, dont do anything stupid. It might seem like i dont give a fuck anymore but i do. i really do. Its pretty cool how i got the courage to say all i wanted to say (even though saying this stuff on facebook is pretty gay) I was in my care listening to the radio then retrace played and i remembered how much i cared about you and how much i still do. Haha. I guess god always knows how to get to me. Im sorry for being a dick man. But i wish you could just think of me as one so you might be able to have renewed hope of something better yknow? Right thats pretty much it. Hows school and friends and stuff?

Heeeeey. I miss you. I don't even know why i'm typing this, but I saw your pictures (lol stalker) then i realized that i'm starting to forget how you even look like. it depresses me. meh. i'm okay though, dont worry. i just wish things between us could be okay and we can be friends already. but eh. i know its not that easy. maybe we can just talk to each other online, only if you want to. this really sucks. we can't even be friends right now. i wish i could rant to you about my 'so called friends' how they are hurting my feelings so much and how they've been bullying me. i wish i could talk to you but i know i cant. its okay. i just really miss you Gab. thought you should know. Sigh.

I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A BITCH AIN'T ONE OF THEM.

GET A FUCKING LIIIIIIIFE.

reassurance

after what seems like fucking eternityyyy

Hey ara. Im sorry ive been snobbing you. It was weird. But i did it for two reasons; 1. For me at least, people really need space after a breakup to get over each other and for things to be normal and friendly again. 2. I do still wanna be friends. I'd rather you think im a dick and chalk it all up to that then me being a nice guy and you not moving on. I still care bout you man. And one day we'll be able to hang out and maybe be even better friends than we were before. But it takes time and work. Also im personally not ready to be friendly again without awkwarding shit up. I need time too, we both do. And please dont kill yourself or smoke or smoke weed or drink too much. Take care of yourself, dont do anything stupid. It might seem like i dont give a fuck anymore but i do. i really do. Its pretty cool how i got the courage to say all i wanted to say (even though saying this stuff on facebook is pretty gay) I was in my care listening to the radio then retrace played and i remembered how much i cared about you and how much i still do. Haha. I guess god always knows how to get to me. Im sorry for being a dick man. But i wish you could just think of me as one so you might be able to have renewed hope of something better yknow? Right thats pretty much it. Hows school and friends and stuff?

I will never let anything bring me down anymore.

I will get my shit back together again.

I will be the BEST, you hear me?

I will be fucking PERFECT.

last angry letter

15 hours agoAra Vergara

You're probably going to ignore this message, but I don't care anymore. I can see that you're cutting me off from your life already and it really hurts. But what choice do I have right? Even calling you is impossible since I don't think you'll pick up the phone anymore. Nothing I do to reach you is NEVER going to work anymore because you don't want me in your life anymore.

15 hours agoAra Vergara

I hoped at least that you still wanted to save what's left of us, but I guess not. You're driving me to a point wherein I can't function anymore, i've been screwing up without you around, and I am SO CLOSE to killing myself already so all of this would just end already. But don't worry about me. I'm just writing this to let you know how i've been, not like it matters anymore. I know anything I say now won't mean or matter anymore. I'm just writing this to feel better, I'm doing this for myself. I have been a mess without you. I haven't been okay. I've been falling apart. You left me like this and I was hoping you'd be willing to talk one day, but I guess that day isn't coming soon. Til' then, I hope that I can learn how to live without you and that all our memories would just wash away with time. If life were like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I would have erased you already

15 hours agoAra Vergara

You're probably going to ignore this message, but I don't care anymore. I can see that you're cutting me off from your life already and it really hurts. But what choice do I have right? Even calling you is impossible since I don't think you'll pick up the phone anymore. Nothing I do to reach you is NEVER going to work anymore because you don't want me in your life anymore.

15 hours agoAra Vergara

I hoped at least that you still wanted to save what's left of us, but I guess not. You're driving me to a point wherein I can't function anymore, i've been screwing up without you around, and I am SO CLOSE to killing myself already so all of this would just end already. But don't worry about me. I'm just writing this to let you know how i've been, not like it matters anymore. I know anything I say now won't mean or matter anymore. I'm just writing this to feel better, I'm doing this for myself. I have been a mess without you. I haven't been okay. I've been falling apart. You left me like this and I was hoping you'd be willing to talk one day, but I guess that day isn't coming soon. Til' then, I hope that I can learn how to live without you and that all our memories would just wash away with time. If life were like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I would have erased you already. . I can't take this anymore. It's killing me. I hope you still have the heart to at least be friends, not a stranger. So tell me when you're ready. You're killing me here. I don't know how much longer I can go.

obliviate

I wish that all of this would end soon.
I wish that all the drama would end already.
I wish I didn't have to feel anything for you anymore.
I wish I didn't have to get reminded of you anymore.
I wish that all these memories would stop replaying in my head.
I wish that I will stop hurting.
I wish that I would be happy.
I wish I could forget you.
I wish I never met you.
I wish I didn't have to care about you anymore.
I wish I could erase you.

I wish I didnt have to give a fuck about you anymore.

I wish I stopped caring.

fuck

whats with your ym?

Dunno

Waiiiit

brb

dads asking for something

brb

okay.

okay back

what is it?

What dyou wanna talk about?

eh, its too much

so thats why

i was asking if

we could talk

like in real life

noooo

what?

just talk now na

:))

why?

you really dont want to see me?

no

id rather just talk now

are you too busy?

well, i cant.

we're here anyway

i mean

its too much shit

and its better if its in real life

and not on facebook cause their chat thingy sorta sucks :))

whaaat?

theres gonna be shit?

like what?

tell me

but i want to tell you in real life.

because it would be so much easier for me.

im in the same room as my mom

and i have to contain myself, okay.

dude

just tell me what its about

if i tell you does that mean we won't get to talk about it in real life

its not something you talk over online eh.

and facebook chat sucks!! if it were ym id think about it

Srsly?

Its the same thing

just

smaller

and it makes an annoying sound when you get a message

if its annoying

then we should just talk about it

in real life

without the annoying sounds

:))

...

Dude

please just tell me

ITS A LOOOOOOOOOONG

thing

its something

to REALLY talk about okay.

seriously

gyst

noooooo

cant we meet up gab

i thought we were past loooooong talks that make me sad

doesnt it make me sad too

:|

It makes me sad cause i thought you were done with it

and thats what makes me sad

...

wait shit i dont get it

=))=))

see this is why we should talk in real life

it hurts me that you cant even set aside some time for a friend thats hurting

are you avoiding me?

and yeah, another thing why i dont like to talk online. waiting for a reply is so skdhasjkdahd everythings really better off settled if we meet up gab.

umm

okay

its just sorta busy

this week

every single day?

you cant really be fully booked the whole day, right? i mean, your lessons probably take up an 2 hours or something

yea then i usually hang with friends after

...

but arent i a friend.

gab youre hurting me

youve never been this cold to me

im sorry i just had to say it

it just really hurts right now

that you act like i was never someone that meant something to you okay

Is it cause i didnt talk to you during antioch?

Huh?

No!

Its just that I know youre busy

you were in a group

but I feel like i dont matter to you anymore

i was still sharing

Its not thaaaaaaaaat.

I'm just not used to you being a bit cold to me, is all.

And i know i shouldnt even feel this

but it sucks okay

but fuck my feelings

so when are you free to talk?

i'll get back to you

Maybe wednesday

Not too too long i hope

I'm not sure about wednesday

why not.

I'm just asking for a day Gab.

A day.

would you please give me your time

im begging for your time and attention and effort

im sorry

if im asking for too much

but i just need to talk to you

i know ill feel better when i do

it would really help alot

hmm

wednesday or thursday

but i cant do a day nga

okay.

i have guitar everyday

what time

1-2

then badminton some days

im not asking you to ditch guitar badminton

im just asking when youre free

maybe 2 pm onwards or something

But you need to tell me whats it it we're talking about

What do you think it is?

I dunno

srsly

And if i tell you, would you cancel

meeting up with me?

something saddening

no

i wont

Is that why? Youre scared of being sad again?

as long as its reasonable

Well how about me! I've been sad.

Yes also

seeing me wont help

And if this is what it takes

to make me feel better

then im hoping you could at least

help

Because i'm not going to you

because i need you back or anything

if thats what youre thinking

i know

Right now, I could really use a friend.

i know

But seeing me wont help

If anything

Why not.

you think that, but i dont think that.

just give me a chance

to explain my side, please.

we should distance each other until we're truly ready to see one another

hear me out.

I AM READY

god let me just talk to you

and youll understand.

We're talking now

Tell me what its about

Dont worry

I wont ditch

I cant.

My mom is here.

Please.

...

You cant type?

With your mom around?

Why not?

Well i cant act like im okay with her around.

gab, i need a confrontation, okay.

because

We dont need to get into anything now

right now. all youre considering is your way of dealing with things

how about mine?

just tell me the gyst

does any thingi say even matter anymore?

im not considering mine

then what do you want?

i wanna know what im getting into when i see you?

Are you ready to see me?

Maybe not

Why not?

I dont know

Its strange

Why is it strange?

theres tension

There isnt.

if you'd give me a chance

to reconcile our differences

Basta i wanna know if its gonna be something sad or what/

and just talk dude.

Dude

I dont know!

I said YES nga

I'll go

We just really need to talk before I can heal

okay?

But stop pushing what your feelings on mine

Its a vital step

what do you mean?

"theres tension" -me

so you want to be numb

and indifferent

towards what i feel?

is that it?

"theres none" -you

you feel no sympathy for me?

Listen muna

wait

i dont get it

You just pushed your feelings on top of mine

like yours are always right

huh?

Dude

waaaaai

what did i do wrong?

i just said that we didnt tension

anymore

wait explaain

gah its much better settled in real life its so complicated hereeee

No

this happens alot

actually

Im sorry

what happens?

i was a dick

but you

are a bitch.

i know.

im sorry too.

Always push your feelings on top of mine

i never really noticed

even just now i didnt

and im sorry okay?

maybe i have to clean my ears or something

but eh, it would be nice

if you pointed out my mistakes to me

No

to help me acknowledge it and learn from it

I am so not game to do that

why not.

i dont want to

hurt you anymore.

by being

insensitive

with the things i say

SHIT
HAHA

what?

I was about to say

I dont want to hurt your feelings anymore

see.

at least we both want that

Then you typed the same

loll

Exactly

o there

see

this kind of thing

i was aiming for this kind of talk

so

if its going to be sad or not

you just have to trust me

that by the end of it, we'll be okay.

because thats the only reason i want to talk to you

i just want both of us to stop hurting and be okay

and see where we went wrong

Ive stopped hurting

good for you

But i do everytime i see you sad

Okaaaay?

that's why i need to do this talk with you

for me stop hurting

and we can both be happy

Okay

There

See

?

Was that so hard? :))

a bit

well

...

thats what she said

Soo

... :|

well

at least we both know that we both want whats best for us.

Sure

you sure

youre not free tomorrow?

im not sure about wednesday

not tomorrow eh

cant

if its on wed or thurs

what time?

2pm onwards

crap, I really dont know. :|

Im a bit busy this week

adkajsdskdjhaa

but i really need to do this

i was hoping nga today eh

So next week nalang

but your phone was dead.

no please

this has to be settled

i dont want to hurt anymore

urgh

When then?

check your sched then get back to me

ugh i dont even know

can i just randomly crash your house :|

Nope

my block is being labo bec we have this thing

Im sorry

ive banned this

why not

from everyone

whyyyyy

why are you pushing all of us awaaaay~

Im not :))

at all

youre pushing me away though.

but yeah.

Im not either

it feels like it

im keeping my distance

:c

exactly.

till im ready

ready to?

will you just please consider my feelings too?

I am.

thats why

i gave you your distance.

why else did i stop talking to you

because i respected your decision.

but please consider mine too

because unlike you, im still hurting

you have it so much easier :c

Okay

Hey.

I hope youre not upset.

I'm sorry, okay?

But you being a stranger to me, just really hurts. It hurts worse than the break-up to be honest.

are you still there?

Yes

do you want to say something?

Did i say something to piss you off?

Nope

Naw man

Im just tired of drama

I'm sorry.

Im not saying what you're saying is drama

But this thing in general

I know, I feel the same.

Is

But I deal with differently. I have to face it and feel it, okay?

I'm sorry for bringing drama again

but this thing we got ourselves into - it involves both of us.

we both have a say and i was just hoping you could hear me out

and yeah, im sorry for hurting you again.

i really am, gab.

i wish all of this would stop soon

Yea me too

so get back to me about your sched

Just text me

or something

My phone hass batt once again

I gtg

Hey.

make time for either wednesday or thursday for me at least, please?

im really not sure

but i hope you can go on both days, if ever.

Okay i'll try

Prolly not both days

night

10:42pm

yeah i know that:p

okay, goodnight.

im sorry again