Hey Nichie! I didn't want to reply to your post on blogspot because it's kinda.. I dunno. Actually, I don't even know how you feel about me. Are we still friends? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Because honestly, the last time I checked we were okay. Are we? You just kinda stopped... talking. It's okay though if you're mad at me or something, I understand. I just sorta wish I knew what I did wrong. I really don't know wtf happened.
I know you probably don't consider me as a friend anymore or something, but I still really care about you. And eh, the blog post you wrote was just kinda depressing and all. Honestly, I don't know how it feels like to be in your place but I do know that it's painful. And Nichie, it really does hurt seeing you in pain because you deserve to be happy.
I wish I can do/say something to make you feel better but we all know that it's not going to change the situation you're in so I think that the best I can do is to show my concern and support for you. I'm not really hoping for a reply or anything, I just want you to know that I'm still here for you - no matter what.
I know I haven't apologized properly for being like the shittiest friend ever, but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. You may be miles away, but I still believe that you're one of the best friends I'd ever had. I'm really sorry for everything, Nichie. For screwing things between us. A part of me just wishes we can be friends again and talk and all you know? But maybe too much has changed. Eh. I'm sorry.
Anyways, enough about me!
I know it's difficult to stand on your own, but it gets better. It really does. You just got to have some faith you know? That one day things will turn up. It's ALWAYS hard in the beginning, but with each step that you take, I know that in time you'll be just fine. Time has a way of changing things you know? I believe in you, Nichie. You can do this. Hang in there. It just takes a little courage. I know that YOU have the power to change the way you live. I know that YOU are much stronger than you believe. YOU are capable of so many things.
Embrace change. After all, We are destined to move forward, to go about change. We are designed for change. I hope you find it in you to focus on learning how to be happy where you are and we'll be just there right beside you, cheering you on. I hope you learn how to be patient with yourself, to feel your feelings but to also let them go. Please learn to trust that God is in control and that in time, things will fall into place. Everything will be beautiful in its' own time. Have faith. Believe. Trust.
Always remember, this too shall pass.
I know you probably don't consider me as a friend anymore or something, but I still really care about you. And eh, the blog post you wrote was just kinda depressing and all. Honestly, I don't know how it feels like to be in your place but I do know that it's painful. And Nichie, it really does hurt seeing you in pain because you deserve to be happy.
I wish I can do/say something to make you feel better but we all know that it's not going to change the situation you're in so I think that the best I can do is to show my concern and support for you. I'm not really hoping for a reply or anything, I just want you to know that I'm still here for you - no matter what.
I know I haven't apologized properly for being like the shittiest friend ever, but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. You may be miles away, but I still believe that you're one of the best friends I'd ever had. I'm really sorry for everything, Nichie. For screwing things between us. A part of me just wishes we can be friends again and talk and all you know? But maybe too much has changed. Eh. I'm sorry.
Anyways, enough about me!
I know it's difficult to stand on your own, but it gets better. It really does. You just got to have some faith you know? That one day things will turn up. It's ALWAYS hard in the beginning, but with each step that you take, I know that in time you'll be just fine. Time has a way of changing things you know? I believe in you, Nichie. You can do this. Hang in there. It just takes a little courage. I know that YOU have the power to change the way you live. I know that YOU are much stronger than you believe. YOU are capable of so many things.
Embrace change. After all, We are destined to move forward, to go about change. We are designed for change. I hope you find it in you to focus on learning how to be happy where you are and we'll be just there right beside you, cheering you on. I hope you learn how to be patient with yourself, to feel your feelings but to also let them go. Please learn to trust that God is in control and that in time, things will fall into place. Everything will be beautiful in its' own time. Have faith. Believe. Trust.
Always remember, this too shall pass.
NICHIE:
Ara,
You should know I can't trust you anymore. So here's my answer.
Yeah, we're still friends. We've made peace. We're cool, bro.
But I can't think of you like I used to. I'm going to tell you everything now. I used to think the world of you, but after what happened, I don't know anymore. It bothers me that you'd want people to say it straight if they have a problem with you when you didn't have the decency to do that to me.
In all honesty, I felt used and screwed over and I didn't want to have anything to do with someone who felt like it's so easy to just let me go. Loise felt the same way about me at one point but she talked to me about it and we're closer than ever. I know I changed but so did you and at the time, you refused to acknowledge it.
I really appreciate it though, that now you're making an effort but I wish you did back then. I always tried to stay on your good side because I always knew I never really was of any use to you. Even now I still have pangs of protectiveness that I have for my friends for you but I don't think any of my efforts would make a difference anymore. Maybe we can get better again someday. In time.
Thank you for your concern and your words but I don't need them. They're lovely words but I can't trust them. And at this point, I still feel like the only reason you're reaching out to me is because no one else is and that I'm the most likely to come back. We can still talk. We can comment on each other's posts.
Yes, we're still friends, but no, we're not close friends. Not anymore.
You should know I can't trust you anymore. So here's my answer.
Yeah, we're still friends. We've made peace. We're cool, bro.
But I can't think of you like I used to. I'm going to tell you everything now. I used to think the world of you, but after what happened, I don't know anymore. It bothers me that you'd want people to say it straight if they have a problem with you when you didn't have the decency to do that to me.
In all honesty, I felt used and screwed over and I didn't want to have anything to do with someone who felt like it's so easy to just let me go. Loise felt the same way about me at one point but she talked to me about it and we're closer than ever. I know I changed but so did you and at the time, you refused to acknowledge it.
I really appreciate it though, that now you're making an effort but I wish you did back then. I always tried to stay on your good side because I always knew I never really was of any use to you. Even now I still have pangs of protectiveness that I have for my friends for you but I don't think any of my efforts would make a difference anymore. Maybe we can get better again someday. In time.
Thank you for your concern and your words but I don't need them. They're lovely words but I can't trust them. And at this point, I still feel like the only reason you're reaching out to me is because no one else is and that I'm the most likely to come back. We can still talk. We can comment on each other's posts.
Yes, we're still friends, but no, we're not close friends. Not anymore.
ME:
Thank you for telling me the truth. That's all I needed to hear.
I know a lot of things have changed over time, and that things will probably never be the same again but I'm glad we finally had closure. I know it's not going to be easy for me to make up for all I've done, but I'm glad I now know where I went wrong. And I understand that you can't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't blame you for feeling that way.
I'm sorry I never really explained why I suddenly got iffy with you and cut you out of my life. I know my sorry won't do anything now, and that's okay, I just wish you know how sorry I am. I had a lot of reasons, and basically the main reason why I walked away is because I felt like we were drifting apart, you know? I honestly didn't know what was going on with you, you never really opened up to me anymore. I didn't feel like your friend anymore. We were becoming too different and I started to pay attention to things that I disliked about you, which was really immature and insensitive of me. Sorry.
We've been friends for years and time really changed the both of us which only led us to… fall apart. And you know what? I'm stupid enough to let that happen. We both had our own faults as to why this friendship failed. You're not the only one who was hurt. But hey, I'm glad we're (sort of) okay-ish. We're cool, yeah.
I'm sorry I never gave you the chance to save our friendship. That time I was so convinced that we were never going to be friends again because you were really distant and almost a stranger to me. I figured, why bother staying? Why bother fighting for something that isn't even there anymore? I got tired. But now that I look back, I should have just been a real friend and just confronted you instead. I now realized that a true friend will always accept you and guide you to be better.
I'm kind of bummed though because only recently did we start talking again and now we're back to well, this. I honestly thought we'd do much better the second time around and that we were back to building the friendship we've lost, but I guess it doesn't really work that way.
Honestly, I'm still quite the Ara you know. I might have changed but I'm finding myself now. I lost myself, and in the process, I lost my only true friends and it's only now that I realized that.
I'm learning. I'm changing. I'm trying to be a better person now. I'm not reaching out to you because I fucked up with the rest, I'm reaching out because I'm now acknowledging what I've done wrong and that there's something wrong with me (which is what I'm trying to fix). And hey, I'm sorry it took me a long time to get here. I'm reaching out because I need to fix what I've screwed up. You deserve an apology and an explanation.
Thanks Denise. Thank you for teaching me this lesson.
And hey - I'm still here for you.
I know a lot of things have changed over time, and that things will probably never be the same again but I'm glad we finally had closure. I know it's not going to be easy for me to make up for all I've done, but I'm glad I now know where I went wrong. And I understand that you can't trust me anymore, I accept that. I don't blame you for feeling that way.
I'm sorry I never really explained why I suddenly got iffy with you and cut you out of my life. I know my sorry won't do anything now, and that's okay, I just wish you know how sorry I am. I had a lot of reasons, and basically the main reason why I walked away is because I felt like we were drifting apart, you know? I honestly didn't know what was going on with you, you never really opened up to me anymore. I didn't feel like your friend anymore. We were becoming too different and I started to pay attention to things that I disliked about you, which was really immature and insensitive of me. Sorry.
We've been friends for years and time really changed the both of us which only led us to… fall apart. And you know what? I'm stupid enough to let that happen. We both had our own faults as to why this friendship failed. You're not the only one who was hurt. But hey, I'm glad we're (sort of) okay-ish. We're cool, yeah.
I'm sorry I never gave you the chance to save our friendship. That time I was so convinced that we were never going to be friends again because you were really distant and almost a stranger to me. I figured, why bother staying? Why bother fighting for something that isn't even there anymore? I got tired. But now that I look back, I should have just been a real friend and just confronted you instead. I now realized that a true friend will always accept you and guide you to be better.
I'm kind of bummed though because only recently did we start talking again and now we're back to well, this. I honestly thought we'd do much better the second time around and that we were back to building the friendship we've lost, but I guess it doesn't really work that way.
Honestly, I'm still quite the Ara you know. I might have changed but I'm finding myself now. I lost myself, and in the process, I lost my only true friends and it's only now that I realized that.
I'm learning. I'm changing. I'm trying to be a better person now. I'm not reaching out to you because I fucked up with the rest, I'm reaching out because I'm now acknowledging what I've done wrong and that there's something wrong with me (which is what I'm trying to fix). And hey, I'm sorry it took me a long time to get here. I'm reaching out because I need to fix what I've screwed up. You deserve an apology and an explanation.
Thanks Denise. Thank you for teaching me this lesson.
And hey - I'm still here for you.
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